Poor Clock Management

Poor Clock Management

QIC: Zima

Date: 9/25/17

PAX: Burlap, Argyle, Rust Bucket (WD), Toe Tag, Van Gogh, FNG Stats (WB), Zima (Q)

Introduction

YHC would have liked to have started this intro with “football is in the air”, but it’s still too warm (as evidenced by all of the record setting game temperatures during yesterday’s games) and despite being in North Carolina for 20 years now, can’t really consider the Panthers a real football team yet.  So, it doesn’t quite feel like football season, but we’re slowly getting there.  Maybe YHC can lead another workout again when the true fall football weather hits in a few weeks.

The Q-drenaline was strong this morning as YHC thought he prepared a creative beatdown to unleash on the PAX.  The theme would be football related (obviously) and we’d take on the perspective of each position group.  Giddy with excitement at the prospect of wearing it, the Q-for-the-day even dusted off his old high school football jersey (seriously) for the first time in over 20 years.  We were certainly ready to rock.  As Toe Tag and YHC warmed up by tossing around the old pigskin at the launch spot, the PAX began to trickle in.

5:30 am.  The ball was placed on the tee (figuratively) and the ref blew his whistle (again, figuratively).  The disclaimer (blah, blah, blah) was given by Zima to the FNG and moderately approved by Burlap, who claimed it was close enough.

Warm-O-Rama:

• Cheerleaders are an important part of the game, so we did 3 TDs worth of SSH IC.
• Since YHC has a brief history with long snapping, we did 2 TDs worth of Whirlies with the Snap IC.  Much to Van Gogh’s disappointment, we were not snapping our fingers in cadence, but pretending we were snapping the ball through our legs to the punter.  I can’t believe I had to explain that.
• Because all players like Merkins, we did 2 TDs worth of those IC.
• To keep the competition fair, referees are integral and use all sorts of hand signals to communicate to the players, coaches, and fan.  To signify a loss of down, we placed our hands behind our heads and did 1 TD of Imperial Storm Troopers IC.  We then placed our hands on top of our heads to signify too many men on the field (admittedly, this would have gone over better if at least 5 more PAX had posted) and also did 1 TD of Hillbillies IC.
• For the fun of it, we all did 2 TDs worth of Burpees OYO.

Fans:

• Done with warm ups, we moseyed over to the school and found the closest wall.  Time to assume our role of fans and take a seat (People’s Chair).
• While sitting and trying to figure out exactly what would possess Rust Bucket to be a life long Browns fan, we cheered on our teams by waving our hands around and clapping with 4 TDs each of Jack Reachers and Seal Claps IC.
• Since as a Giants fan, YHC’s season is completely upside down (a preseason Super Bowl contender???), we flipped upside down and did a TD + FG of BTTW Pushups OYO.

Entire Team (pre-game):

• We moseyed to the sports fields behind JMS and found the wrong kind of “futbol” goals on it.  No matter, we’ll go around them.
• As every high school football player in the country has done during the dog days of double sessions or two-a-days, we lined up for some Up/Downs.  The PAX quickly chopped their feet and hit ground as the Q called “down”, and just as “quickly”, popped back up.  2 TDs worth were completed.
• Still in pre-game mode, we warmed up our legs by doing 25 yards of High Knees, Apollo Creeds, Carioca, and Butt Kickers.  For the fun of it, we added 1 FG of Burpees at the end (for Toe Tag).

Quarterbacks:

• The QB is a fairly prominent position on the team, but without the use of a ball or rocks or cinder block, YHC had Q’s block on what to do, so we went with a Quarter Pounder.
  • Run 25 yards; do 25 Mountain Climbers; Backpedal back.
  • Run 50 yards; do 50 Merkins; Backpedal back.
  • Run 75 yards; do 75 WWIIs; Backpedal back.
  • Run 100 yards; do 100 Plank Jacks; Backpedal back.
• Some teammates planked or Al Gore’d or just put their hands on their knees until the 6 was up.

Offensive Linemen:

• Offensive linemen are big and they play “O”.  What else would we do, but the Big O?  2 TDs each way IC.
• Since the key to being on the O-line is staying low, we did 4 TDs of Low Squats IC.
• Then we partnered up and did Partner Pullups (2 TDs worth for each arm, both partners) OYO.  The Q answered the question of “how many” incorrectly and did some Burpees as a punishment.  It was supposed to be 1 TD each arm for a TOTAL of 2 TDs.  Q FAIL.

Linebackers:

• Next up were the linebackers, so we ran to a line and back.  See what YHC did there?  Luckily F3 has a name for that and it’s called Jacob’s Ladder.  Today, we were inside linebackers, so we started with 1 TD of Ranger Merkins (hands inside) and 1 XP of Heels to Heaven.
• I think it was around this time that Burlap expressed his admiration for this morning’s beatdown.  I’m always happy to oblige.

Special Teams:

• Punters need really high leg kicks, so we loosened up with 2 TDs of Toy Soldiers IC.
• Then once the ball was kicked, we were gunners, so we Sprinted to the end of the field and back.  Unfortunately, there was a false start, so we had to repeato (and also pick up the cones so the lazy Q wouldn’t have to go back and get them himself).

This is where the colossal Q FAIL of the day came in where the Q did not correctly use his timeouts or manage the clock properly.  With at least 4 position groups remaining and a multitude of fun exercises, we were almost out of time.  At this point, we decided to head back to the locker room (i.e. launch point).

Defensive Linemen:

• Two minute drill …
• Since we had a tiny bit of time, we needed to pretend we were defensive linemen exploding off the line, so we did a quick set of 1 TD worth of Mike Tysons OYO.

Mary:

• Finally, in a show of solidarity with all of our brethren today, we did 1 TD worth of Trump Twists IC.

Final whistle blew.  Game over.

Today’s Q’s Random Musings:

• You can check the list hanging in the locker room, but all PAX present today made the cut for varsity.  Next practice is tomorrow morning, 5:30 sharp.
• The Q had very poor clock management skills (Eli Manning, anyone?) and didn’t allow the PAX to experience some of the other positions – RB, WR, DL, CB, OLB.  Like the good Manning QB, he had to Omaha half of his Weinke.
• Much R-E-S-P-E-C-T this morning.  I guess the young rookies couldn’t handle a real beatdown.
• The Q did not earn extra yardage by wearing a coach shirt or having a whistle, much to the dismay of the PAX.
• One unnamed member of the PAX drank too much overpriced Bud Light from the beer vendor and decided to sneak away to spill a little.

Announcements:

• Welcome FNG Stats, formerly known as Andrew Starnes.  Toe Tag is back on the recruiting trail, trying to reclaim his Rush Chair title for the #FNGChallenge.  Stats has his MPH and is finishing up his MD.  He’s married and has 3 kids and gives a lot of credit to his wife (even though she wasn’t around to hear it).  Originally from Washington (none of the grunge names stuck), went to school in Idaho – slowly migrating eastward.  He offered to sing musical numbers from Oklahoma.  (RB doesn’t know the difference between Kansas and Oklahoma).  He told us that he met TT when he presented a paper on some statistical medical thing that nobody understood.  He tried to explain, but it sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown and I think the last thing anyone heard was statistics, so welcome Stats.
• Site Qs, please update the Google Calendars.
• Congratulations to Toe Tag, Earwax, and Moonlight for defeating the Table Rock Ultra this past weekend.  Way to go gentlemen!
• The F3Winston team needs a few more runners for the Bourbon Chase on October 13 and 14.  According to TT, anyone can do it.
• Rust Bucket told the Q that his jersey stinks and needs to be washed.

Prayers:

• Van Gogh’s sister (Torque’s wife) is pregnant.
• Burlap took us out with exceptional words of praise.

Sorry Red Eye, we lost the keys when the fans stormed the field.  I hope you have an extra set.

Zima out.