The Magificent 9 Went Looking for Someone Behind the Door and Found a Death Wish/Beatdown with Charles Bronson!

The Magificent 9 Went Looking for Someone Behind the Door and Found a Death Wish/Beatdown with Charles Bronson!

QIC: SGT Schultz

Date: 30 September 2017

PAX: Van Gogh, Roosevelt, Root Canal (WD), Lamb Chop (co-WB), Virginia Slim (FKA FNG Jake Horvath) (co-WB), Cheerio, Major Tom (FKA FNG Tom Brewster), Schneider (Birthday Boy!), SGT Schultz

To quote every episode of Scooby Doo, this backblast would have been completed and posted yesterday, if it hadn’t been for some meddling kids (who turned off the computer when I was 75% done with my Backblast last night just before I left to go watch my Deacons find yet another way to lose a game they should have won).  When I came home hoarse, tired and jaded, I could not muster the motivation to start anew.

Home from church this morning, I was re-energized to start anew.

Q’ing my second workout in as many days and needing inspiration for a central theme, YHC reached back to dust-off a workout routine that I had utilized before while Q’ing at The Distillery a couple of months ago, one met with critical acclaim from the PAX, to wit:  The Charles Bronson (Hint:  The title of this Backblast is composed of Charles Bronson movie titles.)

9 PAX met on a brisk Fall Saturday at Hanes Park, including 2 FNGs!  The workout went something like this:

WARMORAMA in the Parking Lot

• SSH – IC x 15
• IST – IC x 15
• Arm Swirly Things (Fwd) – IC x 15
• Arm Swirly Things (Bckwd) — IC x 15
• Seal Claps – IC x 15
• Standing Hamstring Stretch – ten count each leg
• Abe Vigodas — IC x 15
• Whirlys with a Clap – IC x 15

Mosey over the bridge across the creek to the soccer field to Station # 1.

Station # 1:  The Charles Bronson  With the soccer goal as the start point, YHC had prepositioned a lantern 75 meters away, with a second lantern positioned 15 meters beyond the first.   The Charles Bronson routine proceeds as follows:  At the starting point, perform the designated exercise OYO, then sprint to the first lantern, then bear crawl to the second lantern, where 10 Merkins are then performed, then mosey back to the start point.  Rinse/repeat, performing each exercise listed on the whiteboard.

The exercises were as follows:

• 50 SSH
• 50 Alternating Shoulder Taps
• 50 Alternating forward lunges
• 50 Wide-arm Merkins
• 50 LBCs
• 20 Burpees
• 50 Monkey Humpers
• 30 Jump Squats

Once all of the PAX had completed the Charles Bronson, we proceeded via Indian Run up to the pull-up bars outside of the Wiley Middle School gym for Station # 2, where the PAX each did 2 sets of pull-ups to muscle failure.   (Van Gogh and a few of his Merry Men did a third set for EC.)   Upon completion of the pull-ups, we moseyed down the hill to the shelter next to the Tennis Courts for Station # 3.  At Station # 3, we performed the following:

• 15 Irkins
• 15 Box Jumps
• 15 Dips
• 15 Left Leg Side Step Ups
• 15 Derkins
• 15 Right Leg Side Steps Ups

We then moseyed to the Tennis Wall for Station # 4.

• People’s Chair for 30 seconds
• 25 Jack Reachers while remaining in the People’s Chair
• BTTW for 30 seconds
• Starting from left to right, each PAX performs 1 Australian Merkin while the rest of the PAX remain BTTW, until everyone has done one

REPEATO X 2, utilizing one-legged wall sits on the last round, along with a dozen Mike Tysons added for good measure.

Mosey back to the soccer field for MARY

MARY:  Performed democratically, with lots of PAX taking turns leading.  MARY included high planks, elbow planks, penquin crunches, American hammers, Freddy Mercuries, Rosalitas, and some more Merkins thrown in for good measure.

FINIS!

COT

• Schneider turned 42!  Happy Birthday to Schneider!
• Lexington, NC is launching next Saturday, 7 October — More to Follow from Sour Mash.  Hopefully a good number of the Dash PAX can lend a hand in getting the ball rolling with our brothers in Davidson County
• Welcome to Major Tom (AKA Tom Brewster)  Major Tom is a Professor at Dear Old Wake Forest, teaching Political Science and National Security
• Welcome to Virginia Slim (AKA Jake Horvath)  Virginia Slim is friends with Lamb Chop and works for Phillip Morris (hence #Virginia Slim)

Cheerio took us out, thanking our Lord for the morning and asking for His guidance and help to be better men, husbands, fathers, sons, co-workers and neighbors.

It was an honor to lead.  Thanks to Van Gogh for allowing me the privilege.