Neither Up Nor Down At Urban Assault

Neither Up Nor Down At Urban Assault

QIC: SGT Schultz

Date: November 10, 2017

PAX: Goofy, Mutton, Huckleberry, Bulldog, Van Gogh, Snooky, Starfish, Root Canal, Forceps (visiting from South Wake area F3), Drama Queen, Whirly, Light Brigade, Thistle, Hazer, SGT Schultz

“Oh, The grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men;
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And he marched them down again.

Now when you’re up, you’re up,
And when you’re down, you’re down,
And when you’re only half-way up,
You’re neither up nor down.”

15 stalwart PAX met at the parking lot of First Presbyterian Church for a Friday morning workout.   The PAX could have chosen to be anywhere else, but they chose to come to Urban Assault.  Knowing that, YHC didn’t want to let anyone down.   To quote George S. Patton, “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan next week.”   YHC had this in mind as I was fumbling to finish planning my Q as I sat in my parked car at 0527.

The workout went like this:

WARMARAMA 

• SSH x 15 IC
• Hillbillies x 15 IC
• Arm Swirly Things (fwd) x 15 IC (for Forceps and others who might not be familiar with DashF3 Lingo/inside jokes, these are arm rotations)
• Arm Swirly Things (bkwd) x 15 IC
• Seal Claps x 15 IC
• Standing Hamstring stretch — each leg for a 10 count
• Whirly’s with a social disease x 12 IC (for Forceps and others who might not be familiar with DashF3 Lingo/inside jokes, these are cottonpickers)
• Abe Vigodas x 12 IC

THE THANG

PAIN STATION # 1

After completing a quick warmup, the PAX moseyed two blocks over to Merschel Plaza between Third and Fourth Street.   After pairing off, we executed an extended Dora consisting of the following:

• Burpees x 100
• Squats x 150
• Monkey Humpers x 200
• Single Count Heels to Heaven x 250

While Partner # 1 ran up the hill to the other side of Merschel Plaza (approximately 50 yards one way), Partner # 2 remained at the bottom knocking repetitions of the exercise until Partner # 1 returned, then Flapjack until the total number of each exercise was completed, followed by the next exercise on the list.   I don’t know about any of the other PAX, but YHC ran up and down the hill at Merschel Plaza a total of fourteen (14) times.

PAIN STATION # 2

To avoid having to run across Merschel Plaza yet another time, YHC led the PAX up and across the pedestrian bridge/whatchamacallit over Third Street past a couple of citizens who, based upon the pungent aroma that Van Gogh and YHC smelled as we ran by them, were enjoying a green leafy substance that is legal in several western states.  We hooked a left on Fourth Street and ran two blocks to the corner of Marshall Street.  From there, we turned left and ran to Winston Square Park Amphitheatre.

It was at this point that YHC’s composure, compassion and self-control were sorely tested, as Starfish took it upon himself to serenade me with a song by Rush (on top of his tormenting of me via Twitter yesterday).  YHC cannot remember at this moment which song he warbled, as I have blocked it out of my mind.  To quote Briscoe Darling from the Andy Griffith Show (referring to Ernest T. Bass), “Well, [I] thought about killing him.  Kinda hated to go that far.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlCjpmJwfcI  I do have to say that Starfish has a better voice than Geddy Lee. But then again, who doesn’t?

YHC had conspicuously left Merkins out of the workout, saving them until this point.  To finish the beatdown, the following occurred:

The amphitheater has five levels of concrete for seating, making it possible to do the following:

• Round 1 –  Regular: — From the bottom, lean forward on the step in a Irkin position, perform 5 Irkins; ascend to the next level for 5 more; and continue until you reach the 5th level, performing a total of 25 regular Irkins.   Return back down to the bottom performing 5 Derkins at each level, for a total 25 regular Derkins
• Round 2 –  Widearm:  From the bottom, perform 5 widearm Irkins; ascend to the next level for 5 more; and continue until you reach the 5th level, performing a total of 25 widearm Irkins.   Return back down to the bottom, performing 5 widearm Derkins at each level, for a total of 25 widearm Derkins
• Round 3 –  Diamond:  From the bottom, perform 5 diamond Irkins; ascend to the next level for 5 more; and continue until you reach the 5th level, performing a total of 25 diamond Irkins.   Return back down to the bottom performing 5 diamond Derkins at each level, for a total of 25 diamond Derkins

In summary, the PAX did a total of 150 Irkins/Derkins of various kinds in less than 10 minutes.

We moseyed back to the First Presby parking lot, elbow planking till the 6 arrived.  30 seconds later, the clock struck 0615!

COT

Prayers for Finger’s family, as his brother-in-law unexpectedly passed away over the weekend.  Keep our brother and his loved ones on your mind and in your hearts.  F3 is so meaningful to me because we love one another and look after our own.

Lunch Bunch at Carmine’s Grill (formerly  Bob’s Big Gas) at the corner of Reynolda and Northpoint today at 1145.

If you are not participating in the Heartwalk tomorrow morning, there will be a convergence at Speas Elementary tomorrow morning at 0700.  THAT MEANS NO #IS AT HANES!

Forceps, our visiting F3 brother from the South Wake F3 Clan, talked about RunRangerRun, a charity in which you can run to raise money to help servicemembers returning from deployments reintegrate with their families and “The World.”  See http://www.runrangerrun.com/ for more information.

YHC led us out, thanking our Lord for F3, for our friendships, for the opportunities that we have, for this great Nation, for the servicemembers who protect it and for their families who sacrifice so much of themselves to make it possible for their Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine to do what they do.

NMM 

YHC was too busy trying not to mess up the Q to overhear a lot of Mumblechatter this morning.  Hopefully everyone had fun and got a good workout in.  If not, see me for a refund.