Mayhem – the self-proclaimed premier Wednesday Beatdown
QIC: Thistle
Date: 3/14/2018
PAX: The cast of characters: Mongoose, Red Eye, Root Canal (WD Jr.), Zima, Balco, Thistle (Q and WD)
Been to Mayhem before, seen the Meadowlark academic complex, but first time to Q here. As an F3 elder statesman, I have a slight inferiority complex that the WO would be too easy — I wanted to make it challenging enough to hold this group’s attention. I did a quick drive by of the AO last Sunday evening and got some ideas. The track was under water and I did not want to take the time to get out of my car to explore (Arbor Acres is strict on when they serve dinner), so the recon mission was limited. I came up with a plan that I thought would fool the PAX – they would think I could do all the exercises/running and it would tire them out (they can’t see me cheat modify burpees with their heads down). After waking up in the middle of the night wondering how the PAX could see my various station instructions in the dark on the submerged track, I risked provoking a Silver Alert by conducting an Omaha Recon early this morning. I came up with a WIBesque circuit in the parking lots and put each station’s instructions on tiki torches (unlit).
As the PAX rolled in and I estimated their collective body fat to be <10%, I was worried. I became increasingly concerned as the warm-a-rama proceeded and the MC became incessant, loud and derisive. However, my heart warmed as the MC turned angry as the various stations’ plans were revealed. Burpees will do that to a man.
Warm-a-Rama:
SSH, IST, Abe, Whirly, Arm Swirly… All expertly led in perfect Sgt. Schultz cadence
The Thang:
Our WO was titled, “Leave No Man Behind”. Laps around parking lots with 4 pain stations per lap. But as leaders complete each lap, they go back to get 6 and complete exercises with them. Not much of that happened as this was a surprisingly homogeneous group. Quantity of each exercise indicated and do first exercise at first station… Each lap the quantity of exercise was raised by 5, so round 5 had 35 burpees at station 1, 35 staggered merkins at station 2 and so on.
10: Burpee, Merkin, Mutton (both sides), Mnt Climbers (double count)
15: Burpee, Ranger Merkin, LBC, Hillbilly
20: Burpee, Wide Merkin, Dying Cockroach, Russian Twist
25: Burpee, Diamond Merkin, Rosalita, Pickle Pounders
30: Burpee, Staggered Merkin Right, Froggy, Penguin Crunch
35: Burpee, Staggered Merkin Left, Heels to Heaven, Makhtar N’Diayes – Lap 6 did not happen due to a mutiny – the PAX picked up the tiki torches on Lap 5 as we finished each station, so we did a little Mary.
Mary – Did some Lunges, Copperhead Squats by Root Canal and Calf Raises.
We had to stop – the PAX fired me via Twitter
Prayers:
- Our country and our military
Announcements:
- Balco came in second and broke 20 min at a recent 5K after not being able to “Grayson Allen” the 9-year-old who won.
Moleskin:
- I haven’t worked out with Mongoose much. It may have been me, but I sensed some deep seeded anger. Maybe it’s just me, but…
- Red Eye has a look in his eye that worries me – so nice though. Balco has that same look as Red Eye, but combines it with a slight smile in times of pain – Is he that nice too or is it something else?
- Root Canal continued to do his “Aw Shucks Y’all” routine, but we are used to it – #Cantfoolus
- Zima is an animal who regaled me with stories of his skiing vacation while we were running — I wheezed and coughed up a lung. But said he has only fallen once in his last 8 years of skiing – might be time to leave the bunny slope.
- Honestly, an honor to lead – F3 is a blessing. Do not take it for granted.
- 50 lb set of AO keys back to Zima for him to do one-armed curls.
- I’m going back to bed.
