It was a Conspiracy, but it wasn’t Fake Exercise

QIC: Thistle

Date: 4/4/2018

PAX: Miyagi, Snookie, Gelding, Root Canal, Hedwig, Mumbly Peg, Screech, Chisel, Bevo, Pita, Van Pelt, Capri Sun, Juice Box, TSI, Whirly, Spicoli, Mutton, Ziggy Stardust, Breaker, The Vig, Tonka, Thistle -- I may of missed someone while in oxygen debt.

It was gonna be a tough Q.  I had been traumatized at the hands of the brutal Pita at Flatline on Tuesday, but with a quick therapy session, I am partially recovered and functional.  Just don’t yell at me.

As my plan came together and the memory of Pita faded, I got pretty jazzed.  In fact, when 5:30 hit, we moseyed with no intro, disclaimer or welcome – maybe it was memories of Flatline?  Many PAX in the Conspiracy crowd are young and really nice, but also pretty fit.  So my goal was to quell the MC, convince them that Geritol works and limit those “bless  your heart” compliments from the youngsters that say stuff like, “I hope I can do this when I’m your age” — to which I reply, “Speak up, I can’t hear you”.  I had much more planned than we completed, so next time we can spend a lot of time with Mr. Intimidator.  We did have rain come down hard for a couple minutes in the midst of the workout.  A few PAX tried to avoid getting wet under the tennis shelter – not only did it not work, their mascara ran anyway.  The only casualty was my weinke got wet and so I threw it away – that was really painful.  No more comments – this is a family-friendly website.

Let me get to it:

Warmarama at the base of the Clover hill:  SSH, IST, Abe V. and Whirly – led in perfect cadence.  Then we did 20 burpees, 20 American Hammers and 20 merkins.  I thought burpees and AH were our Exercises of the Month, so we wanted to get in our daily allotment.  You’re welcome.

The Thang:

Run to track benches – 4 rounds of exercises – repeat list with a new merkin variation

Step-ups 25 each leg

Box Jumps 10 – Omaha’d on this one after a slip and fall in the rain — Whirly was there, so a lawsuit will be filed.

Durkin 15

Burpees 20

American Hammers 20

Wide Merkins/Ranger/Diamond/Hand Release 10

To track – Introduced a new exercise that ESPN has labeled an Instant Classic

Bear Crawl Indian Run on straights and jog curves – It took some organizing, but we succeeded in warming up our shoulders.

Run an easy lap was suggested, but time got us.

Clover Hill – did not get to this, so it is a teaser for next time, Fun fact, did you know we normally don’t go to the top of the hill on Clover.  We can put in one more stop.

Lunge to first stop and back down – run back up to get 6

Run to second stop and do 25 Heels to Heaven and back down – up to get 6

Run to third stop and do 25 Dying Cockroach and back down – up to get 6

Put out CONE:  Run to top and do 50 Low Flutter and back down – up to get

Q musings – failures abound, but the new Bear Crawl Indian Run may need some tweaking.  This was a large group, so we broke into two groups of ~12 each and crawled for 2 sets of 120 yards each.  We had a few who mutinied.  

COT:

Praise for Mutton’s young niece whose Dad has cancer and she elected to have a double mastectomy preemptively – surgery went well and no signs of cancer.  Pray for her recovery.

Juice Box has the Q at Purgatory, Palin at WIB, Hedwig at OGs and Tuco needs a sub for Urban Assault (anyone but Pita)

YHC took us out with a grateful heart – blessed by these men and F3.  Challenged us not take this F3 thing for granted and to lead our families, work, community with strength and love.

Keys were thrown in the Grand Canyon – you’ll find them Glazer.