Schoolhouse Rock, Flak, and Shipping High in Transit at Impossible Situation
QIC: SGT Schultz
Date: April 21, 2018
PAX: Palin (WB), Sour Mash, Whirly (WD), SGT Schultz
Date: April 21, 2018
Q: SGT Schultz
The PAX: Palin (WB), Sour Mash, Whirly (WD), SGT Schultz
YHC has been AWOL for the better part of a month due to a bum knee sustained from a collision of his ego and stupidity (immovable object meets irresistible force) from an F3 Sunday ruckmarch and from being out of town on business and Army Reserve for 18 out of the past 30 days. Accordingly, YHC was both excited and apprehensive about returning to the F3 fold this morning, especially bearing the awesome responsibility of being the Q. In trying to come up with a theme, YHC decided to celebrate the valor of some real American heroes and to weave their exploits into a challenging workout that did not involve any running, as YHC’s doctor told me to take it easy on the knee.
There is sand at Hanes Park, and where there is a combination of sand and YHC, it’s a good bet that there will be a sandbag workout.
4 stalwart PAX gathered on a crisp morning at #IS and enjoyed some fun and fellowship that went something like this:
After a quick round of typical Warmarama, which included a lengthy discussion of Whirly’s ongoing battle with a social disease, the workout and education began. The PAX each grabbed a pair of sandbags filled with 3 scoops of sand [NOTE: YHC initially elected to go with a pair of 2-scoop sandbags, but traded up for a pair of 3-scoop sandbags. YHC cannot tolerate having a smaller sack than anyone else.]
Phase I: The first part of the workout centered on Lieutenant Frank Luke, a World War I pilot who earned the Medal of Honor posthumously, giving his life at age 21. In just 17 days in September 1918, Lieutenant Luke shot down 14 German observation balloons and 4 German fighters, a remarkable feat. His Medal of Honor citation reads:
“After having previously destroyed a number of enemy aircraft within 17 days he voluntarily started on a patrol after German observation balloons. Though pursued by 8 German planes which were protecting the enemy balloon line, he unhesitatingly attacked and shot down in flames 3 German balloons, being himself under heavy fire from ground batteries and the hostile planes. Severely wounded, he descended to within 50 meters of the ground, and flying at this low altitude near the town of Murvaux opened fire upon enemy troops, killing 6 and wounding as many more. Forced to make a landing and surrounded on all sides by the enemy, who called upon him to surrender, he drew his automatic pistol and defended himself gallantly until he fell dead from a wound in the chest.”
In honor of Luke’s 18 victories, the PAX did the following:
- At the starting line, perform 18 Monkey Humpers [Out of concern that the term might be insensitive, the PAX renamed this exercise “How Whirly Got the Clap”] and 18 Merkins
- Lunge walk 15 yards with a sandbag in each hand to Cone 1 and perform 18 Skull Crushers with the sandbags
- Lunge walk 15 yards with a sandbag in each hand to Cone 2 and perform 18 Lateral Raises with a sandbag in each hand
- Lunge walk 15 yards with a sandbag in each hand to Cone 3 and perform 18 Curls with a sandbag in each hand
- Lunge walk 15 yards with a sandbag in each hand to Cone 4 and perform 18 Shoulder Presses with a sandbag in each hand
- Lunge walk 15 yards with a sandbag in each hand to Cone 5 and perform 18 Upright Rows with a sandbag in each hand
- Lunge walk 15 yards with a sandbag in each hand to Cone 6 and perform 18 Cabbage Patches holding both sandbags together, then 18 squats holding the sandbags together
Farmer’s Walk with the sandbags back to the starting line, whether YHC announced that we would Repeato x 3
When I announced the word “3”, Whirly replied, “It’s a Magic Number!” Being the same age as Whirly, YHC responded “Oh Yes It Is!” As kids of the 70’s who grew up watching Schoolhouse Rock with our Saturday morning cartoons, Whirly and YHC proceeded to go back and forth singing the lyrics to “Three is a Magic Number” while Sour Mash and Palin both looked at us like we were from Outer Space!
PHASE II: After completing 3 sets of our sandbag tribute to Frank Luke and his 18 victories, we moved over to a nearby hill, where we paid tribute to First Sergeant (1SG) Leonard A. Funk, Jr.
Standing only 5 feet 5 inches tall, 1SG Funk’s bravery defies belief. During WW2, 1SG Funk earned the Medal of Honor, the Distinguished Service Cross, the Silver Star, the Bronze Star, and 3 Purple Hearts. His exploits would make an a movie that would be unbelievable if they weren’t true. See http://www.badassoftheweek.com/funk.htm
Running out of time, we only had time to pay homage to 1SG Funk’s heroism that earned him the Distinguished Service Cross during Operation Market-Garden (otherwise known as “a Bridge Too Far”). After parachuting into Holland, 1SG Funk, leading two other 82d Airborne Division paratroopers, charged into the face of three fully-crewed German 20mm anti-aircraft guns that were firing upon American gliders filled with defenseless Soldiers. 1SG Funk and his small team destroyed the flak guns, wiping out 20 German soldiers without losing a man, clearing the landing zone for Allied gliders and paratroopers and saving hundreds of Allied lives.
To celebrate this achievement, the 4 PAX paired off into 2 teams. Member 1 did flutterkicks while Member 2 bearcrawled up the hill and did 20 Merkins at the top before coming back down to Flapjack with Member 1. Repeato x 3 – 1 round for each Flak gun 1SG Funk destroyed.
With the hour being up, we gathered together and prayed, giving thanks for the morning and for the blessing of the birth of Palin’s niece. The COT had to be cut short, as Whirly’s uncontrollabe sneezing threatened to cover the PAX in snot. Thanks, Whirl!
We had a lot of fun making fun of one another. During the discussion of First Sergeant Funk, the PAX also learned the origin of the word Flak (as in “catching Flak”) — Fliegerabwehrkanone — literally “airplane defense cannon.” Sour Mash also regaled us with the story of the origin of the word $hit. Apparently, in the olden days, British merchants would import manure into the American colonies to use for fertilizer. To prevent the manure from getting wet from bilgewater, the shipping crates were marked “Ship High in Transit,” and thus a bedrock of the English language was born. We called Bull-“Ship High in Transit” on that one.
An honor and pleasure to lead a group of friends whom I treasure!
