Amish Paradise

Amish Paradise

QIC: Zima

Date: 5/2/18

PAX: Tuco, Hoptoberfest, Drama Queen (WD), Winona, FNG - Tide Pod (fka Corey Pendergrass) (WB), Lace, Boomerang, Light Brigade, Bluto, BAM, Land Shark, Zima (QIC)

Date: 5/2/18

QIC: Zima

The PAX: Tuco, Hoptoberfest, Drama Queen (WD), Winona, FNG – Tide Pod (fka Corey Pendergrass) (WB), Lace, Boomerang, Light Brigade, Bluto, BAM, Land Shark, Zima (QIC)

Intro

The problem with growing popularity and expansion is that there are too many great options.  And in the realm of F3 Winston-Salem, that is never more evident than on Wednesday mornings. Just look at the choices.  Mayhem, with its supreme location, stalwart group of regulars, and familial attitude towards visitors, is universally known at the Premier Wednesday Workout.  The diamond in the rough though is Bells n Whistles. Tucked just on the outskirts of Winston in the unincorporated community of Pfafftown, this gem of a workout is a definite fan favorite of the locals and provides the PAX with an excellent opportunity to truly challenge themselves.  Hell, I’ve even heard that shim sham, rinky dink operation that the remains of Glazer is running over there at Hanes Park occasionally gets a few PAX to attend. Anyway, the point of my rant is that due to my corporate duties at Mayhem and its near proximity to the homestead, I don’t get to visit BnW as often as I would like.  That is certainly my loss. It’s a fantastic workout and one that should be frequented by all of the PAX. And by venturing out, you get to reconnect with some of your buddies that you don’t normally get to see. The experts agree that this morning’s edition was definitely somewhere in the top 3 F3 W-S bootcamp workouts of the day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It’s 5:30 am. There are a bunch of dudes standing in a circle in a school parking lot.  Cue the tunes … (and 0.7 seconds later, the mumble chatter began)

Warm-o-rama.

• SSH x 15 IC (“nice form”, “this is a slow cadence”)
• Whirly’s Social Disease x 15 IC (“what did he just say?”)
• Mountain Climbers x 15 IC
• Toy Soldier x 15 IC (“don’t look directly at him”)
• Merkins x 10 IC, hold it, Ranger Merkins x 10 IC, hold it, Wide Merkins x 10 IC (“this is supposed to be a warmup!?!”)

Beatdown

    The Q made an attempt to put a gag order on the mumble chatter, so we did …

• Burpee Shuttle:
  • Do 5 Burpees.  Run to the first light pole.  Do 5 Burpees. Run back to the start.  Do 5 Burpees. Run to the second light pole.  Do 5 Burpees. Run back to the start.

The gag order only held temporarily.  The squawking parrots quickly restarted their relentless babbling.

• BELLS, round 1:
  • Right Bicep Curl x 10 IC
  • Left Shoulder Press x 10 IC
  • Left Leg Forward Pulse Lunge x 10 IC (“demonstrate”, “oh, i don’t like those”)
  • Left Bicep Curl x 10 IC (“there it is. i knew it was coming”)
  • Right Shoulder Press x 10 IC
  • Right Leg Forward Pulse Lunge x 10 IC
  • Goblet Squats x 10 IC
  • Right Tricep Press x 10 IC
  • Left Arm Front Raise x 10 IC
  • Right Leg Back Weighted Reverse Lunge x 10 IC
  • Left Tricep Press x 10 IC
  • Right Arm Front Raise x 10 IC
  • Left Leg Back Weighted Reverse Lunge x 10 IC
  • Hand Release Merkins x 10 IC

• WHISTLES, round 1:
  • Sprint to first light pole and back.
  • Apollo Creed to first light pole and back.
  • Sprint to first light pole and back.
  • Carioca to first light pole and back.
  • Sprint to first light pole and back.

• BELLS, round 2:
  • same
  • Tempo Merkins x 10 IC

• WHISTLES, round 2:
  • same

• BELLS, round 3:
  • same, but only made it to the Goblet Squats
  • Diamond Merkins x 10 IC

WHISTLES, round 3:

• No tiempo.  No mas.

Mary:

• LBCs x 25 IC
• Planks: regular, six inches, elbow for about 2 minutes

Playlist done, so we might as well stop the beatdown.

Playlist

• Weird Al – Party in the CIA
• Weird Al – Smells Like Nirvana
• Weird Al – It’s All About the Pentiums
• Weird Al – White & Nerdy
• Weird Al – Canadian Idiot
• Weird Al – Eat It
• Weird Al – Fat
• Weird Al – Amish Paradise
• Weird Al – Foil
• Weird Al – Like A Surgeon
• Weird Al – Yoda
• Weird Al – The Saga Begins
• Weird Al – Word Crimes
• Weird Al – Gump
• Weird Al – I Lost on Jeopardy

Today’s Q’s Random Musings:

• The mumble chatter was quite impressive this morning.  There were definitely some comedy all-stars bumbling nitwits.  Of course BAM led the charge, but the comments were flying from all corners of the circle.  Apparently, the nickname “nicest Q in F3” only applies to a certain member of the PAX when he’s Qing.  You know who you are, Mr. Nantan. Of course Tuco and Hoptoberfest were not about to pull their punches either.  I even recognized a few zingers from the supposed “nicer” guys: Land Shark, DQ, Boomerang, and was that you Light Brigade?  What did I ever do to you guys? Geez, I even think Tide Pod joined in early!
• How does BAM complain so much about being tired and wiped out, yet his mouth never stops moving?  Do the jaw muscles run on a separate generator?
• If you absolutely loved the playlist and creativity this morning, then Thank You.  The epiphany randomly popped into my head months ago. If you hated it, blame the Nantan (“all hail the Nantan”).  It was Bluto’s idea that he concocted at Urban Assault recently.
• The Q was exhausted and drained this morning pre-workout.  A very late bedtime due to some forced 4th and 5th F. The thought of fartsacking entered the head more than once.
  • What?  No. Get your minds out the gutters, you dirty bastards!  “Flag football”.
• Note: Lace and Hopscotch are fast.
• @CaptureSteve was not present.  Rumor is that he was slumming it over in the Minor Leagues at Hanes Park.  Maybe one day he’ll be able to wear the big boy pants.
• What’s up with Site Qs not attending my workouts?  What am I missing? Am I the only one not in on the joke?  (Major apologies to Ink Spot as I bailed on his Q at Mayhem this morning.)
• On a completely unrelated note … Cobra was unable to attend since he was out protecting our borders by building a wall around Forsyth County and conscripting the Reagan Raiders JROTC.
• The PAX loved the Q’s quality cadence.  Can you guys not count to 3?
• Did I mention the mumble chatter was incredibly strong?  The Q even had to threaten extra burpees if the unwashed masses didn’t shut their pieholes.
• I’m pretty sure that Winona quickly regretted the choice of a sweatshirt plus long sleeve shirt in the heat this morning.
• Since there was some weak Twitter concern last night about an FNG attending one of my award winning beatdowns, I combed through the annals of F3WS history and I would like to point out that I’ve had the honor of initiating quite a few pledges, err FNGs.  Not ALL of them have been #oneanddones! This isn’t Duke basketball.
• Speaking of FNGs, ours this morning flew out of the gate during the burpee shuttle run.  I’m not sure he knew that there were still 40+ minutes left in the workout.
• Did it seem weird to anyone else that the workout circle kept constricting?  By the end of our third Bells iteration, we were almost at the “Touch a Sweaty Guy” portion of the program.  Good thing the Q isn’t claustrophobic.
• Q fail: The Q made one tiny, miniscule, little error on an exercise (admittedly wrong, but still a similar type of lunge) and the jackholes pounced all over him.  Sheesh. Give a Q a break.
• Hippity Hop arrived today doing his best Rocky impersonation by wearing his cute little hoodie.
• I’m not sure what Booomerang was doing over there in Eastern Europe.  Maybe he was visiting some secret Bratislavan HGH lab, but the dude returned with a new set of wheels.  They were shiny and fast. Or maybe it was the adrenaline from his ‘boomeranged’ news.
• YHC HATES the formatting in WordPress.  It is god awful. Why are we still using it?  Seriously, doesn’t it bother anyone else? Can we please post all of the backblasts in Slack?
• Have I also mentioned how much I hate that ludicrous Gen Z inspired social media communication tool, Twitter?  Me no twiiit so gud like 13 y/o gurrrrrl or @SBGallo.

FNG:

• Corey is in a script writing group with Drama Queen.  He does mud runs (Van Gogh, get on that). He’s been a missionary in Peru and Guinea.  He’s now a plumber. He coached wrestling at Reagan. He just recently registered his LLC for his new laundromat called Wishy Washy (yay entrepreneurship! good luck).  A few of the suggested names were Lima Bean, Butter Bean, Suplex, Suds, Mr. Clean, Maytag, and finally … Tide Pod. Welcome Tide Pod.

Announcements:

• Read this article about our very own celebrity doctor, Dr. Toe Tag.  But how many of those students did he EH?
• Sign up for the Ultimate Runner – June 30.  YHC thinks BAM gets a cut of your refer-a-friend registration fee.
  • See Lace for alternative ideas to this event.
• For Hobtoberfest’s next F3 homebrewed beer event, he’s going to put on a beer mile.  Totally his idea. No evidence to the contrary.
• DQ has WIB tomorrow somewhere in the western part of W-S.
• Marine Mud Run on June 2 in at Jomeokee Park in Pinnacle.  Good beginner obstacle course.

Prayers:

• For all of the F3 and FiA runners at Time Laps this weekend.

Inspiration:

YHC decided to try something a little different this morning when taking us out.  Instead of the normally sanctioned prayer (Site Q wasn’t there to reprimand the temporary Q), YHC read off a series of inspirational quotes that seem relevant to our morning activities and the challenges on which many of us choose to embark.  These snippets of wisdom mostly deal with perseverance, the drive to improve, and the desire to better oneself physically and mentally.

• Defeat does not finish a man-quit does. A man is not finished when he’s defeated. He’s finished when he quits.
• Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
• Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.
• If you cannot win, make the one ahead of you break the record.
• Shoot for the moon, for if you fall short, you’ll still land amongst the stars.
• Victory lies just past the point where most people quit.
• Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.
• You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.
• Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.
• A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it’s built for.
• Everything was impossible until somebody did it.
• The greatest danger for most of us is not that we aim too high and we miss it, but we aim too low and reach it.
• It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
• The man who says ‘it can’t be done’ is always interrupted by the man who just did it.
• Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
• It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Thanks for the keys, Cobra.  I left them in the padlock of the gate so we can get in before 5:28 am.

Zima out.