I guess an HC ain’t what it used to be

I guess an HC ain’t what it used to be

QIC: Zima

Date: 2/23/19

PAX: Lambchop, Drip, Palin, Greenspan, Van Gogh, Cheesesteak, FNG Brexit (co-WB) fka Will Derrickson (sp?), FNG Belfort (co-WB) fka Chris Wolf, Dr. Toot Canal (War Daddy), Zima (Q for the day)

Introduction.

Pouring rain.  Why is anyone else out here this morning?  Nothing more to say.

Roaming Warm-o-rama.

While moseying around the track, the FNGs were treated to an early bit of Q School; the Cadence was subject of study.  In fact, more than once, a helpful member of the PAX shouted out “Q School”, obviously so as to remind the FNGs to pay attention.

SSH x 20 IC (perfecto)

Aggressive Seal Claps x ?? IC (stopped short because the jabronis refused to count)

Imperial Storm Troopers x 20 IC (at the ideal speed)

Spider Merkins x 10 IC

Beatdown.

Since there was some whining about staying dry (way too late), we hung out under the tennis shelter for a few minutes.

Dips x 15 IC

Dry Docks x 15 IC

Step Ups x 10 IC (each leg)

Sumo Squats x 15 IC (by the way, Root Canal is weird)

Mosey to the homestead of Baron Von Dipshit.  Ring the doorbell and run – all the way to the bottom of Pilot View St.

Mountain Climbers x 20 IC to warm up the legs.

Run up the hill to the fourth intersection of Pilot View and the cross street (Broad), then back down to the bottom of the hill.  Then back up to the third intersection and back down to the bottom of the hill. Continue this pattern until the first intersection (Carolina).  Each time an intersection is crossed, perform the following exercises:

• West End Blvd: 10 Burpees
• Carolina Ave: 20 Hand Release Merkins
• Jersey Ave: 20 Straight Leg 6” Crunches
• Summit St: 20 Rocking Chair Lunges
• Broad St: 50 WWII

* Bonus: The first person down the hill each time had to wear a weight vest for the return trip up PV.  Note: The execution of this was slightly less than perfect.

Totals: 50 Burpees, 140 HR Merkins, 100 Crunches, 60 Lunges, 50 WWIIs

Monkey Humpers facing Casa de Baron while waiting for the six.

Mosey to the Hanes Park Steps.  Had to Omaha original plan and use the nicely remodeled area for some Mary.

• Box Cutters x 20 IC

• LBCs x 20

• Heels to Heaven (keeping the legs straight at Palin’s request) x 20 IC

• Penguin Crunches x 20 IC

• Elbow Plank x 45 seconds

Note: Pickle Pounders were vetoed by every single person there due to the high visibility location.  There was also a conversation about the legality of performing Pickle Pounders in school parking lots.  Drip, I think that’s just part of your court restraining order.

Out of Time.

Deep Thoughts from the Q:

• The number of PAX that posted was exactly equal to the number of Tweets YHC sent last night.  Some major help from Lambchop was needed as he brought out not one, but two FNGs! T-Claps. However, I’m not sure that I got the ROI that I had intended for my PAX:Tweet ratio.  It seems that Offsides and Fingers were much more efficient in their marketing efforts.
• It took Van Gogh 1.4 seconds after the workout to demand that the FNGs sign up for the website.  I don’t even think they had finished catching their breath yet before his verbal assault.
• Greenspan was moderately firm this morning.  Don’t ask. Please don’t ask.
• Palin, let it go.  Just let it go man.  Maybe next time you can approach my level.
• The cold rain did not diminish the enthusiasm of the FNGs one bit.  They were beasts. Brexit even had a smile on his face most of the time.
• As could probably be predicted VG, Greenspan, and Cheesesteak were out front on the hills.  The rest of the PAX were not far behind, close on their heels, smartly bunched together for encouragement.
• An unnamed PAX member stopped by St. Paul’s Church on the way up Pilot View to either get a little extra 3rd F in or perhaps, well … spill some merlot.  Hopefully those prayers were heard.
• So the intention of the weight vest was to handicap the front runner during the uphill portions on Pilot View.  YHC didn’t count on Cheesesteak gaming the system, Van Gogh’s Merkin “form” with or without the vest (more on that later), the vest not even remotely slowing down Greenspan (C’MON MAN!), or the Q getting stuck with his own punishment.
• The steepness of Pilot View does not negatively affect Cheesesteak’s uphill speed.  The man literally bounded upwards.
• Dr. Toot Canal’s nuclear weapons were foiled by the rain.
• Quote from one of the FNGs (to Lambchop) as he walked into the circle this morning: “You weren’t kidding about the gardening gloves.”  Uh dude, we’re not planting tulips here. We like to think of them as workout gloves, thank you very much.
• Lambchop only had super nice things to say about the Q all morning.  He thoroughly appreciated every aspect of the beatdown.
• I’m pretty sure if I ever let Drip administer any anesthesia to me, I’m not waking up.  Retribution.
• How can Palin say so many words, yet nothing even close to meaningful comes out?  Is he under a gag order at home and/or work and has to run his mouth at beatdowns just to get it all out?
• Public Service Announcement: Has Van Gogh ever “helpfully” critiqued your exercise form?  Well, feel free to offer him some unsolicited advice in return on his Hand Release Merkin form.  Sure, his hands were coming off the ground for the hand release part, but his chest barely made it 3 inches higher.  I thought Gigantor had longer arms than that. Anyway, just an observation that I thought warranted a space in the backblast.
• As the PAX were giving it their all, fighting hard with determination to conquer Pilot View, the driver of some self-proclaimed royalty d-bag in a new Mercedes pulled up to one of the intersections and interrupted the PAX.  From the comfort of his dry, heated, leatherbound backseat, he rolled down his rear window and passed a bottle of Grey Poupon, then drove off to the bottom of PV.

Announcements:

• Coffeteria was scheduled to happen directly following the workout at Chick-Fil-A on Peace Haven.  Unfortunately, if this is the first you are hearing of it, you probably missed it.
• According to Palin, Zima had the Q at I.S. this morning.

FNGs:

• Chris Wolf is college “friend” of Lambchop’s M.  Unfortunately Mr. Wolf attended NC State and is quite the avid fan, but we didn’t hold it against him.  He works in Raleigh and has a couple of dogs. Some ideas that circulated were something from Twilight (i.e. full moons) or the direwolves’ names from Game of Thrones.  Teen Wolf was thrown out there too. There was even a motion on the table to hijack a former F3 guy’s name, Ramses. Ultimately we came around to Belfort, from Wolf of Wall Street – Leo’s character for those who haven’t seen it in a while.  Welcome Belfort.
• Lambchop met Will Derrickson (sorry, the last name did not come through well on the recording) at Belfort’s wedding a few years ago.  He works in the construction industry in Winston and just had a baby (side note, how the heck did his wife let him come out to a beatdown?) who has a Lord of the Rings name.  His wife is British. Immediate ideas were something from wedding crashers, “Anchor” or “Chain” for the baby/British/citizenship thing, or some female British royalty titles. However, once Brexit was shouted out, it was game over.  Welcome Brexit.

Prayers:

• Cherry Pie had to de-HC after an unexpected medical procedure yesterday to wire his trap shut (or at least that’s how YHC understood it).  Anyway, he said he’ll be fine for his upcoming Qs next week. Funny how fast that recovery is. TAPs all the same buddy.
• Keith Vest.
• Thistle for whatever is inside of him.
• Greenspan’s dad as he progresses through chemo.
• The Palin family.

The Q took us out asking everyone to remember the power inside of oneself.  To be the men we aspire to be, we must believe in ourselves, have the confidence and strength to do what is right, and the unwavering desire to achieve our goals.

Zima out.