Poetry in Motion

Poetry in Motion

QIC: Zima

Date: 3/26/17

PAX: Cheesesteak, Huckleberry, Offsides, Root Canal (War Daddy), Mutton, Balco, Pita, Van Gogh, Lysol, Drip, Burns (Workout Baby), Greenspan, Zima (Q for the day)

Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the Flatline beatdown in the Dash frontier.
On the twenty-sixth of March, in twenty nineteen
Hardly a man remained dry and clean
It was Burns’s first Flatline post, just to be clear.

The Q posted on Slack, "If the PAX arrive
By car or feet from the town this morn,
Hang a lantern aloft in a bay on floor five
Of the Winston phallic tower as a signal warn,—
One, if by car, and two, if by feet;
And I in the parking lot will be,
Ready to Q and work the forearm
Through every Old Salem side street and farm,
For the F3 folk to do body fat much harm."

So let me tell you a backblast of a story
About the PAX searching for multiple Fs of glory.
There were thirteen of us to be exact.
It’s on Twitter, so it must be a fact.
They travelled the roads from near and far;
Lysol even showed up without a car.

In a dimly lit church car park,
The men assembled to workout in the dark.
The gloom is what they say;
Strange things were about to happen that day.

Drip showed up mysteriously grinning a grin.
And Mutton, as usual, silently strolled right in.
Not the case however for Mr. Bedside Manner,
Pita’s voice hits you like a freaking sledge hammer.
While Cheesesteak changed costumes without a glance,
Van Gogh boldly announced he must remove his pants.
Why?  We may never want to know.
When half past five struck, we had to go.

We began in a corner with 20 Side Straddle Hops
To get rid of those pesky muffin tops.
Then we dropped to the ground times 10,
And had to get back up again.
Burpees are thy cursed name.
To the left, Apollo Creeding we came.

Next up, 20 Imperial Storm Troopers for the boys.
And of course, the immaculate cadence brought out mumble chatter noise.
The amateur mistake the PAX made there,
Was thinking that the Q would f’ing care.
Oh Balco, Oh Balco, some new material please.
How many do you have of those Mother So Dear degrees?
Onto 10 Burpees we quickly went,
Planked it up and on a Jailbreak we were sent.

20 times poor Whirly had the Clap,
So on the next 10 Burpees the ground we did slap.
Although Huckleberry flies through them at an alarming pace,
Balco performs them with a sadistic smile on his face.
Since the work on the legs was light,
We Apollo Creeded all the way to the right.

We Spidered the Merkins to the count of 10, 
Got up and did those Burpees again.
Backpedaled the length of the lot,
Then Carioca’ed to another corner spot.
Next was Skipping and Crawling like a Bear,
And finally Planking to make sure everyone was there.

To Winston Square we joyfully moseyed,
Then 20 Lieutenant Dan’s at slow speed.
20 Box Jumps next, for that there really was no need.
We added some Mountain Climbers for fun,
But no, no, no, we were not yet done. 

Up the stairs we Irkined our way,
Performing 5 on each step ... what the hay?
At the top, we LBC’ed 50 times and Planked and Gore’d,
Then Derkined our bodies down as groans and grunts were roared.
60 up and 60 down sponsored by Dr. Canal’s dental insurance reward.

Mountain Climbers ensued before getting up on stage,
To visit Miss Mary and our cores to engage.
The complaining raged from Balco and Van Gogh and Offsides and Huck.
Even Greenspan and Burnsy, all to which the Q replied, “Shut the F*#k!”
The 25 In Cadence Low Dollies and WWIIs were performed as just,
But when it came to the Little Baby Flutter Crunches, there was much disgust.
Quite a few of the lads actually swore and cussed.
Thus the Q decided to Omaha at rep number 10,
Mostly because he couldn’t do another one again.
We ended this portion by pointing our Heels to Heaven.

But the ceaseless running of Mr. Pita’s mouth,
Caused us to jump up and then point our bodies south.
That’s right, 10 more Burpees for those reading at home.
Then off to the next spot we did leisurely roam.

After running on Second Street for a few blocks,
We stopped, dropped, and did 10 Carolina Dry Docks.
At the new Waterworks pocket park we grabbed our socks
And Monkey Humped 20 times to onlookers’ faces of shocks.

This group of warriors was fiercely workin’,
So to keep us together, the Q called for a Tempo Merkin.
OK, maybe it was more like 10 reps if you’re keeping tabs.
What’s next?  Oh, a round of 20 Ski Abs.
We finished at the park with 20 Dips on some slabs.
But first in honor Offsides’s Flatline presence,
A double set of his noted 5 Burpee quintessence.

Away we dashed back to our AO in a jog,
Although at some point we stopped for what is known as a Crunchy Frog.
20 of those and we were on the move as time insists,
To the BB&T lot to see what was left on the lists.
Ah, of course.  A series of 25 No Collusion Twists.

Half a mile, half a mile,
Half a mile onward,
All in the First Pres parking lot
Ran the Dash PAX.
“Forward, the Flatliners!
Charge for the AO!” the Q said.
Into the First Pres parking lot
Ran the Dash PAX.

“Forward, the Flatliners!”
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the PAX knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not reason why,
Theirs but to Burpee and comply.
Into the First Pres parking lot
Ran the Dash PAX.

Since we were now completely and totally exonerated,
Back at the launch, we ran a few lengths that were moderated.
Raring to go, the ponies were let loose into a Jailbreak,
Concluding it all with 50 seconds of Burpees; that was no mistake.

As we end, if you would permit me, fine reader, sir,
May I leave you with some thoughts to infer.
I’m always humbled by those men who show up when I’m Q’ing,
But does anyone else wonder what exercises Cheesesteak is actually doing?
If you need proof that “F3 works”, as the motto goes,
Look no further as Greenspan’s workout domination grows.
And those respects will simply just not act their age.
You all set an admirable example when the Hates and Ayes finally turn the page.
Oh, here’s a truth nugget by the way,
The old guys were the majority today!

Some announcements for the PAX who have read this far.
Site Qs, please update the Google calendar.
Van Gogh has the Conspiracy Q and promises less Burpees.
Neither the former or future WIB Site Q is in his thirties.
At West Salem Public House, come celebrate the generational gap,
As Burns takes over for Thistle … and that’s a wrap.

T-Claps to you if you’ve read throughout.
Bedtime for me, Zima is out!