Did You Ever Play Athlete?

Did You Ever Play Athlete?

QIC: Zima

Date: 7/8/19

PAX: Jar Jar, Chisel, Huckleberry, Cheesesteak, Palin, Balco (official WAR DADDY), Blue Steel, Razzie, Fokker, Angry Bird (WB and FNG fka Mathu Gibson), Zima (Q for the day)

Warm-o-rama.

• Quick mix of SSH, IW/IST, Copperhead Squats, Hillbillies, Seal Claps, and Whirlies
  • Some of the PAX were in such awe of the cadence perfection that they just stopped the warmup exercises altogether and enjoyed the spectacle.

Beatdown.

THE PATH

• Going towards campus —->>>
  • Mountain Climbers x 50
  • each bench: Step Ups x 10 each leg or Squats, if the benches weren’t available
  • each light pole: WMDs x 3 
  • Mountain Climbers x 50
  • pick up the six
• <<<—– Going towards Reynolda Village
  • Mountain Climbers x 50
  • each bench: Dips x 20 or Carolina Dry Docks x 10, if the benches weren’t available
  • each light pole: Jump Squats x 10 
  • Mountain Climbers x 50
  • pick up the six

THE BEEHIVE HILL

• Start with 1 WWII at bottom, run up the hill, and do 1 Burpee at the top, run down the hill
  • Each PAX’s manhood was explicitly judged in relation to the distance he Burpee’d from the bees.
• Repeat with 2 reps, then 3, all the way to 7, at which point almost everyone was walking
  • Note: As it should shock exactly nobody, in the time it took a normal PAX to do one Burpee, Huck did all seven.

UPPER PARKING LOT

• Random assortment of Mary exercises (Straight Leg Crunches, Low Dollies, Pickle Pounders, Penguin Crunches, Full Extension Crunches)

Out of Time.

Deep Thoughts from the Q:

• OK, follow me here.  This is an actual conversation heard just before the beginning of the workout.  I honestly couldn’t make this stuff up.
  • Palin (staring up at the 6’4” 250 lb. hulking frame of the FNG): “Did you ever play athlete?”
  • As the rest of the PAX were befuddled by what Palin just asked and stunned into silence, Fokker does not miss a beat and responds, “Jar Jar plays mandolin.”
• There are those times when the Q already has a title planned for his workout well in advance.  And then there are times that he hopes something will organically materialize during said workout.  Today, Palin was a shining beacon of light, a true shimmering pearl with his magically wonderful, stammering, yet ever so eloquent quote.  At that point, I just knew this would be a good day.
• Post beatdown, as the Q was crawling to his car, too tired to take another step, the FNG casually mentioned he was headed to his workout.  Uhhh, what did he think we just did? Eat your heart out Van Gogh.
• YHC is not crazy.  Well, not completely crazy.  There WERE rectangular stones on the side of the Reynolda Village Walking Trail, as in they used to be, but aren’t there anymore.  Check out Google Street View if you don’t believe me (just pay no attention to the clearly incorrect date of 2014).  Apparently they were replaced during the most recent trail upgrades when the new benches and light posts were installed.  Phew. That was really bothering me!
• The WMDs clearly weren’t difficult enough for most of the PAX because when it came time to do CDDs, they did Merkins again.
• Is it a requirement for the feet to leave the ground during Jump Squats?
• It was a pretty homogenous group.  Everybody was in full on beast mode.  YHC anticipated it breaking up during the Reynolda Trail portion, but everyone basically stuck together.  Super strong effort!
• When the FNG showed up, Blue Steel puffed out his chest, tied up the man bun, and broke out the woman’s small fitted tank top.  And not to be outdone, at the end of the workout, Palin brought sexy back and went all Chippendales on us.
• I’m going to say it right now.  It’s in writing so I’m admitting to it.  The Q had to Omaha about half of his own workout.  Humility. Only Q what you can do, right? Right?
• Since Huckleberry had already taken care of the pre-blast and post-workout number Tweets for me (you know, since I’m not a Millennial and detest social media), I tried to get him to write the backblast too while I was out searching for those damn rectangular stones.  But he wouldn’t do it, so you now get this crap that I put together and thus that is the reason for the delayed posting of this backblast. And yes, I did return to the scene of the beatdown at lunch to do a thorough grid-by-grid archaeological hunt for the mythical rock formations, which I obviously had no better luck in finding than I did during the morning.
• Something about broken spirits, yada, yada, yada.

FNG:

• Cheesesteak and Toe Tag (not present) met Mathu Gibson this weekend at a swanky 4th of July party where lamb and Katz (not cats) deli were served.  Toe Tag must have been the waiter. Side note: That’s a whole lot different than the 4th of July party that I was invited to where the most sophisticated conversation was the preferred flavor of Natty Light.  I’m not sure what type of liquor Mathu was drinking or what was in that lamb, but somehow the combination of some dudes named Toe Tag and Cheesesteak managed to EH him for this morning.
• Mathu is a native of Winston-Salem and played left tackle for Wingate University.  He also played for the Broncos (uh, why not lead with that?) and for the Montreal Alouettes, along with doing some coaching.
• He’s in the Winston-Salem Fellows, has some interesting tattoos, and likes to workout (well, no shit).  As if that weren’t enough, he’s a student counselor down in Charlotte.
• PLUS, the little guy wore the requisite sleeveless shirt!!!!!  Nice job on the intel TT and CS. That’s definitely pandering to the Q.  Although Mathu’s arms might need to be a bit bigger to fill it out properly.  They were only the size of small Sequoia trees.
• All of this fantastic material ripe with naming opportunities, but the morning’s brain trust was none too creative.  Possibilities were American Sports Ball, Thespian (since he plays athlete), Counter Tre, Canuck, Freedom Fighter, C-Gap, and whatever the hell weird ass waterboy position that Palin played on his high school football team.  Finally the FNG bailed us out and threw us a bone when he mentioned the Alouettes mascot is the Angry Bird. It was settled. Welcome Angry Bird.

Announcements:

• Shmedfest is August 24.  The WAR DADDY decreed an “official” FiA/F3 convergence that morning.  Apparently this hasn’t been run by some guy named Plunger yet, but let’s be honest, if Balco’s M says there’s a convergence with FiA, then there’s a convergence with FiA.
• Offsides still needs a few guys to fill out the F3 Winston-Salem Junior Varsity team for the Tuna 200 Relay.  It’s October 25th and 26th.  Race goes from Raleigh to Atlantic Beach and is downhill.

Prayers:

• Blue Steel’s family’s visa issues.

Because of the Q’s new forced morning schedule, he will now go MIA for at least a week.  Radio silence. Goodbye. Zima out.