An Alabama Prom Date with a Personal Trainer

An Alabama Prom Date with a Personal Trainer

QIC: Greenspan

Date: 3/11/20

PAX: Van Gogh, Dutch Dog, Full Upright Position (FUP), Lazyboy, Wobegon, Zima, Splash, Drama Queen, High Cotton

-“I feel the Alabama Prom Dates in my butt…and it doesn’t hurt.” -Van Gogh

Warmarama:

Consisted of leg stretches, dive bombers, Abe Vigodas, Whirlies, Michael Phelps, and arm destroyers

Main Event

Mosey to other side of the school to old launch point for 9ers:

• Pull ups x 1
• Run to opposite end of parking lot
• Alabama Prom Dates x 8

Increase pull ups by 1, reduce Alabama Prom Dates by 1 each trip until Pull ups x 8 and Alabama Prom Dates x 1.

Mosey 10 yards between two parking islands for BLIMPS:

Burpees, Lunges (DC), Imperial Walkers (DC), Merkins, Plank Jacks, Squats;

Start with one rep of each and work way up to 6 reps.  Lap around the two islands after each round

Mosey back to pull up bars for Sevens.

• Pull ups x 6
• Run to opposite end of parking lot
• Alabama Prom Dates x 1

Congregate at the Alabama Prom Date end of the parking lot for one more BLIMPS, all x 7 reps.

Mosey home for Dive Bombers x 5 (IC).

Exitus.

Announcements:

• Van Gogh has Q at TRQ tomorrow at 0530. An easy 4-mile EC run will launch at 0450.  It will be a good time of fellowship with minimal hill work.  (See Van Gogh?  That’s how you sell the pax on something guaranteed to be completely awful!)  You should go.  All of you.
• Deacon Dash for Down Syndrome on 3/21. Sign up here:  https://runsignup.com/Race/NC/WinstonSalem/321DeaconDash?

CoT:

• Healing for $5 Footlong.
• O.G.’s son going in for another sleep study Thursday night.
• Reconciliation between DQ and his friend.
• Pray for WFU as they shut down.
• Pray for the nation as the virus spreads.

YHC took us out.

Moleskin:

Most of this is true.  Truly.

-Let’s get it out of the way now:  YHC will not, cannot do this backblast the justice it deserves.  If Zima would get his ‘Zima’s Backblasts, LLC’ set up, YHC would outsource the creative content to him.  But here goes.

-Zima’s first words upon arrival:  “What are the chances that we do zero dive bombers?”  YHC:  “0% chance.”  Zima:  “%*&@.  I told Van Gogh we shouldn’t do chest yesterday.”  YHC:  “It’s not going to be a chest-heavy workout”.

-In retrospect, the potential for that conversation to be taken out of context, given the right media talent, was quite fitting for the rest of the morning.

-Van Gogh, mid-stretch with everyone on their backs:  “No mission statement?  No core principles?”  This was later rectified; just didn’t want the discipline of Spam’Tan to come down if he caught wind of the oversight.  The complete and utter absence of validity of that concern became crystal clear later in the morning.

-Zima, VG, Splash, and High Cotton led the way during the 9ers.  Their reward was to hold the upward prom date pose for the six.

-After dropping a killer KB beatdown on the pax at the Outhouse Monday, Wobegon was back at it today, working hard and getting stronger.

-FUP, Lazy Boy, and Dutch Dog kept pounding, and YHC tried to keep pace with them.  Although we were a bit behind the leading quartet, the intensity and strong work was consistent throughout the beatdown.

-Need some pure sunshine, Tar Heels (of whom YHC is one)?  Here it is, courtesy of DQ:  “If this team had been on the court the entire year, we would have finished middle of the pack in the ACC,” referring to UNC’s dominating victory over Va. Tech last night.  The pax were unanimous in their preference for prom dates rather than DQ’s Stoicism.

-After the 9ers, Splash dropped this bomb:  “I want you guys to know that, this very second, the Spam’Tan is working out indoors with a personal trainer at the Y.”  No words can do justice to the betrayal felt by the pax.  It was like an episode of The Young and the Restless.  YHC is going to need some counseling.  Someone needs to check the bylaws on whether the Nan’tan pension is forfeited for such indiscretions.

-Directly related, Van Gogh spoke up to let everyone know that he “feel[s] the Alabama Prom Dates in his butt…and it doesn’t hurt.”  Bizarre, but completely in keeping with the vibe of the pax this morning.

-Zima asked on round 6 of BLIMPS if we could do something else.  “Yes, and you’re not going to like it,” alluding to the additional pull ups and prom dates that awaited.  Groans were expressed by many of the pax, but YHC is sure Zima wasn’t one of them.  YHC thinks more pull ups and prom dates were exactly what he wanted.  And then he wanted another BLIMPS with 7 reps.  Who needs a time waster when you have Zima to make such fortifying suggestions?

-Never one to NOT get the last word, VG fired back with, “Zima’s prom date would appreciate him doing 7 reps for the last blimp.”  Remember, this is all true.

-Alas, another morning of pure Mayhem came to a close.  YHC is honored to have had the opportunity to lead and be among such…fit pax.

-Thanks for the keys, Turnover.  You might want to Clorox them….for, you know, coronavirus.