Tim Tebow and Aaron Hernandez Walk Into a Bar …

Tim Tebow and Aaron Hernandez Walk Into a Bar …

QIC: Zima

Date: 3/5/20

PAX: Turnover (WB), Huckleberry, Offsides (WD), Cherry Pie, Van Gogh, Touch-Me-Not, Zima (Q all week)

Don’t understand the title of the backblast?  Well neither do I! I am still confused about the conversation that I walked into this morning as we were starting COT.  Offsides was quoting Tebow like he was Ghandi and Touch-Me-Not was making a veiled reference to Aaron Hernandez. Somehow these two things were connected, but I was too oxygen-deprived from chasing Cherry Pie around all morning to understand what the hell they were talking about.

WARM-O-RAMA.

Not really sure what we did for warmup.  I’d bet it was effective though. Although I had every intention of skipping ISTs, the peanut gallery opened their big mouths and began mumble chattering so they needed to be punished.  From then, I proceeded to perfect my IST cadence, while the other poor souls forgot the simple counting techniques they learned in Kindergarten or never learned to play Follow the Leader.  That’s right Huck, I’m looking at you. Did you get warm enough just standing there not doing a damn thing?!?

BEATDOWN.

Think of a hub-and-spoke style workout.  The hub was the center of the parking lot.  The spokes were six stations, A-F, placed around the lot.  Each station had 3 exercises. The plan was to do Exercise 1 at Station A, then run to the center to do 5 burpees, then run to Station B, do Exercise 1, run to the center and do 5 burpees, and so on.  After Station F, run a lap around the parking lot and then repeat the whole workout with the second exercise at each station.  All exercises were to be done 30 times. 

Station A

1. Regular Merkins
2. Mike Tysons
3. Crucible Merkins

Station B

1. Jump Squats
2. Knee Touch Lunges (DC)
3. Monkey Humpers

Station C

1. Elbow Spider Planks (DC)
2. Pickle Pounders
3. Low Dollies

Station D

1. Hand Release Merkins
2. Wide Merkins
3. Ranger Merkins

Station E

1. Dips
2. Carolina Dry Docks
3. Arm Destroyers

Station F

1. WWIIs
2. WWI LBCs
3. Heels to Heaven

OXYGEN DEPRIVATION.

WHATEVER THE HELL IS IN MY HEAD.

Cherry Pie still isn’t sure what double count means.

Cherry Pie still won’t do the correct exercise.

Cherry Pie still is fast.

WIB PAX today = #BEASTMODE.

We unintentionally did 95 burpees.  If the Q had used his fingers AND his toes to count during the workout, we could have gone for the century mark.  Also, depending on the digital device used, we covered between 2.25 and 3.0 miles.

Offsides has a motivational phrase about burpees (I bet you can guess what it is) written on his vanity mirror in lipstick.  He stares at it each morning before posting.

Also, Offsides claims, “Tim Tebow made [me] do this”.  Um, Doug. Are you OK? Is Tim standing here right now?  Is he with you? Can you see him, buddy? Is he talking to you?  We can get you some help if you need it.

A wise man once said, “It’s your emotions that may fool you.  But it’s your convictions that will lead you.” Why am I quoting that?  I have no idea. I really don’t. Some old guy was muttering it in a church parking lot this morning.

Turnover and Huckleberry RIRO’ed in from Jamison Park.  Note: There was much debate if a RIRO counts if the first ‘R’ and second ‘R’ are not the same.  Oh, for instance, let’s just say “Run” and “Ride”. Does it technically count if you “Ride” out after “Running” in?

For people who claim they don’t like to use the word, “hate”, it was thrown out a lot this morning.

I have no doubt that if Turnover ever meets Mike Tyson in person, he’s going to knock him out … purely because of the exercise that F3 has named for him.

Van Gogh will not tolerate less-than-perfect form.  I’m not even sure he made a comment about it this morning.  I just thought it was important to put in the backblast.

I truly believe that each man was quite pleased with his decision to post this morning.

“Your old favorites suck!” – an unnamed member of the PAX responding to tomorrow’s UA Q when he announced that workout would be a repeat of a past favorite.

“No.” – tomorrow’s UA Q in response to the question, “Will it give me a rash?”  Why would you ask that?

Alert: Broken Record Comment.  You know, Huckleberry, if you had paid attention to the instructions, you wouldn’t have had to stand around for that long waiting for everyone else to finish their burpees.

The PAX made a ruling that it’s awkward when only one guy Tebows during COT.

Does time of the year or time of the day matter when determining if a statement is acceptable to speak in a church parking lot?

ANNOUNCEMENTS.

• “You guys got uh, that uh, thing this weekend.”  To clarify, that ‘thing’ is a Convergence led by none other than Sir Whirly.  It’ll be held on Saturday at Jamison Park at 7am.  No other sanctioned workouts will take place.
• There are rumors of a 7 mile EC run beforehand.
• There are also rumors of a more reasonable 3-4 mile EC run beforehand.
• Day 4 of #ZimaWeek2020 continues on Friday with Urban Assault and Lunch Bunch.

PAYERS.

• Offisde’s daughter’s appointment at Duke Hospital.
• All those who are suffering through the Corona stuff.
• Our politically divided country.

Turnover expertly took us out.

Burns, you were missed, but I stuck the keys in a dirty diaper.  I figured you’re probably getting good at those by now.

Zima out.