Zima vs. The Corona Virus

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Zima vs. The Corona Virus

QIC: Zima

Date: 3/9/20

PAX: Cheesesteak (co-WD), Snooki (WB), Razzie (co-WD), Fokker, Zima (co-WD, Q for #ZimaWeek2020)

Intro

This beatdown concluded #ZimaWeek2020.  Thank you to all who participated. If not for you, I would have looked incredibly silly Q’ing 10 different F3 beatdowns by myself.

 

Warm-o-rama

  • Since the following 45 minutes was fueled by binge-drinking Zima, it’s appropriate that the PAX know a bit about this citrusy beverage.  It was launched in the U.S. in 1993 and died a slow death in 2008. For the non-math math majors, that’s a 15 year run. Who knew?

Record scratching noise … Update: Zima was re-released on a limited basis in 2017 and again in 2018.

    • Zide Ztraddle Hopz x 17 IC
  • It’s a clear “malternative”, a bastard cousin of Smirnoff Ice, which Coors attempted to market to men.  
    • Whirliez Veneral Disease x 17 IC
  • Rumors circulated that Zima allowed you to pass a breathalyzer.  That is false. But it made the drink popular with the teenage crowd.  Coors actually sent letters to police officials and school superintendents disputing the claim.  Here’s an exercise for those on the opposite end of the age spectrum from teenagers.
    • Abe Vigodaz x 5 IC (these take way too long)
  • Instead of just hanging out with Mary at the end of our long night morning of drinking, she is coming with us on our bar crawl, so she needs to be warmed up too.  And since most women go to bars in roving packs, I think you’ll enjoy her cousins.
    • Rozalita x 17 IC
  • The name, Zima, was created by Jane Espenson, who has been a prominent Hollywood writer and producer.  She has worked on shows such as Warehouse 13 and Game of Thrones.
    • Juanita x 17 IC

 

The Beatdown

TRANSPORTATION to first bar: Carioca.  Because when you’ve had too much to drink, you do stupid things like Karaoke.  Note: It’s a stretch, but most people commonly mistake Carioca and Karaoke.

 

Bar 1 (bottom parking lot):

  • Zymurgy is the study of fermentation in brewing, winemaking, or distilling.  Zima comes in 12 oz bottles. Zima is produced by Coors which has mountains on its logo.
    • Zymurgy Climberz x 12 IC
  • Even though there are 0 grams of fat in a bottle of Zima, there are 18 grams of sugar.
  • What happens when you drink too much?  That’s right, you burp. And possibly go to jail.
    • Incarceration Burpeez x 18 OYO
  • There are 22 grams of carbs in a bottle of Zima
    • Merkin runz
      • Wide x 22 OYO, then run small loop
      • Ranger x 22 OYO, then run small loop
      • Hand Release x 22 OYO, then run small loop
  • Too much drinking.  Sit down and hold onto something.
    • Al Gore for the Six

 

TRANSPORTATION to second bar: Everyone climb on the party bus.  Reverse peloton to second bar.

 

Bar 2 (cattleshed shops):

  • We were tired from a long night of drinking, so we sat down.
    • Arm chair x ~1 minute (like people’s chair with arms to the side)
      • Did you know that Zima was made by taking Coors cheap lager and filtering it through charcoal to remove taste and color?  Seriously. Then citrusy flavors were added.
      • Some call it the Milli Vanilli of beers.
  • We’ve drank a lot and we’re a little dizzy.  We don’t know which end is up.
    • Man-partz to the wall x ~1 minute
  • For those who are wondering, there are 20 mg of sodium in each bottle.
    • Instepz to Heaven x 20 IC
  • Each bottle of Zima has 185 calories
    • Zeppelinz x 1 OYO
      • 10 Burpees
      • 20 Lunges (10 each leg)
      • 30 Imperial Storm Troopers
      • 40 Merkins
      • 50 Plank jacks
      • 35 Sumo Squats
        • Did you know that you can still get Zima in Japan?  It’s very popular with men. Domo arigato.

 

TRANSPORTATION to third bar: When I Googled bar crawls, auto-correct kept changing it to bear crawls.  Bear Crawl to third bar.

 

Bar 3 (rugby field): 

  • In 1994, Coors produced 1.3 million barrels or about 429 million 12 oz bottles of Zima.  Different versions of Zima have different alcohol contents, ranging from 4.7% to 5.4%. The recent limited release bottles were 5.0%.
    • Let’s take a fast trip to the Zoo, because drinking at the zoo is fun.  Note: We did 5 reps for the 5% alcohol content 6 times because of the 6 pack of Zima.
      • Crunchy frog x 30 OYO
      • Mutton crunch (R/L) x 30 OYO
      • Penguin crunches x 30 DC OYO
      • Copperhead squats x 30 OYO
      • Monkey humpers x 30 OYO
      • Calf raises x 30 OYO
      • Donkey kicks x 30 OYO
  • The Imperial Russian Army was the land armed force of the Russian Empire from the late 18th century to the beginning of the 20th century.  During the first full year of production, Coors spent about $38 million marketing Zima, which translates to “winter” in Russian.
    • Imperial Russian Twist x 19 IC
  • It was Coors’ original intention to market Zima to Gen X men.  Unfortunately, it was very popular with underage teenagers instead.
    • Manly arm builder
      • Forward arm circle x 13 IC [hold it]
      • Backwards arm circle x 13 IC [hold it]
      • Jack Reachers x 20 IC [hold it]
      • Moroccan Night Clubs x 20 IC [hold it]
      • Air claps x 20 IC [hold it]

        Let’s finish #ZimaWeek with some clapping!  Let’s hear it!

      • Seal claps x 20 IC

 

Closing Time (Going home with Mary):

We were too late.  She left us.

 

#ZimaWeek2020 done.  That’s all folks.

 

Announcements

Fokker likes themed beadowns.

The Q barely made it through the beatdown this morning.  The struggles were most likely due to the effects of consuming Coronas after the Convergence.  That’s how the virus spreads, right?

The Pharaoh Sisters (Fokker and Jar Jar) will be playing a show on March 26 at Gas Hill.  Check them out.