After The Last Dance

After The Last Dance

QIC: Starfish

Date: 5/20/2020

PAX: The Singing Cowboy, Closer, Data, Burlap, Bluto, BAM, Starfish

Although it may have been more akin to MJ’s unchronicled time with the Washington Wizards or even his time as GM of the Bobcats/Hornets, 7 Dashpax posted at Bells & Whistles in a driving rainstorm to get better this morning and celebrate the GOAT, Michael Jordan and the wrapping up of the epic 10 part miniseries/documentary that has helped all of us sports-starved fans get through the pandemic.

@Burns pulled a Pippen as the pax were counting on him to be the keymaster and unlock the gates at Ronald W Reagan High School.  He said, “I’m not going to f*** up my [morning] to rehab for a season.  They’re not going to be looking forward to having me, so I’m going to enjoy my [morning].  I’ll use the season to prepare.”  But Burnsy was oh so wrong as he could have been the “best teammate of all time” had he shown up to let us in this morning.

Instead, we huddled up under the shelter between the tennis courts and baseball field and set up shop.  2 cardboard weinkes (one for “Bells” and one for “Whistles”), a light thanks to uber-prepared site Q @TheSingingCowboy, tunes (1990s Hip Hop inspired by the music from the “Last Dance” (see below for playlist)), and a bunch of kettlebells made our pre-game prep complete.  And it went something like this:

Warm-O-Rama

SSH x23 IC

Hillbillies x10 IC

Copperhead Squats x23 IC

Copperhead Merkins x10 IC

Imperial Walkers x23 IC

Arm Swirly Things, Forward x10 IC

Arm Swirly Things, Reverse x12 IC (oops)

The Thang:  Air Jordan

Split up into two groups to provide for even better #SocialDistancing:  @TheSingingCowboy, @Burlap, YHC in one group and @BAM, @Data, @Bluto, @Closer in the other.  One group does the “Bells” portion while the other group does the “Whistles” portion.  Flapjack and repeato until time is called.

Bells:

• 06 Jerks and Cleans (each arm)
• 23 Overhead Presses
• 23 Rows (Upright, Bent Over or Renegade)
• 23 Deadlifts
• 23 Alternating Lunges (each leg)
• 23 Nolan Ryans
• Rinse and repeato until time to switch to “Whistles”.

Whistles:

• 45 Seconds to Run There and Back
• 10 rounds, running starts at the beginning of each 45 second round (10 = number of MJ’s NBA Scoring Titles)
• Switch to Bells after 7.5 minutes of intervals

NMM

#Cobains to @TheSingingCowboy and @Burlap who had the unfortunate fate of being YHC’s teammate as he tried to figure out exactly how far we should be running during the 45 second intervals.  Our first two attempts were far too aggressive and gravelly but by the third or fourth round of the first set, we figured out what the appropriate distance was.

Biggest drama of the morning came courtesy of Larry the Security Guy.  He’s definitely no Gus Lett and is probably more of a John Michael Wozniak character.  He started yelling at us from down the hill near the school that the campus was closed due to the COVID.  So we moved our belongings and ourselves to the road outside the gate.  At that point, he came at us with sirens and bullhorns.  Bluto was heard saying this about Larry the Security Guy:  “You can show me anything you want.  It’s no way you can convince me he wasn’t an a$$hole.”  Damn right, #NantanEmeritus.  So we moved our cars out to the road and that seemed to satisfy #DeputyDawg.

Had Larry trekked all the way up the hill to confront us, @Closer was ready.  He said “I just haul off and punch him in the f****in eye.”

@BAM briefly disappeared between rounds 2 and 3.  “I need a vacation” a la Dennis Rodman c. 1997.

@Data, when asked about the wager he made with @Burlap about who could complete more rounds of JORDAN, said “I can stop gambling.  I have a competition problem.”

@Burlap, while heading to the cars after the workout, was overheard saying, “It’s one of those incidents where I wish it never happened.  But if I had the chance to do it over again, I probably wouldn’t change it.”

Thanks, @TSC for the keys and thanks to you all for the honor and privilege to lead this morning.  And at least the rain stopped when we got chased out from under our shelter.

Playlist:

• Sirius – Chicago Bulls Theme Song – The Alan Parsons Project
• Reunited – Wu-Tang Clan
• Hip Hop Hooray – Naughty by Nature
• Can I Kick It? – A Tribe Called Quest
• Fantastic Voyage – Coolio
• The Choice Is Yours (Revisted) – Black Sheep
• Player’s Ball – Outkast
• If I Ruled the World (Imagine That) – Nas, Ms. Lauryn Hill
• I Got It Made – Special Ed
• Down With The King – Run-D.M.C.
• Step Into A World (Rapture’s Delight) – KRS-One

Your friend,

Starfish