We Kinda Did the D

We Kinda Did the D

QIC: Turnover

Date: 6.6.20

PAX: Buyout , $5 Footlong , H.O.G. , Mutton , Lambchop (Co-WB) , Cleaver (Co-WB) , Drip , Greenspan , Root Canal (WD) , Van Gogh , Bullwinkle , Turnover (Q)

12 PAX gathered in solemn reverence for a Memorial Service beatdown for The Grind Block at #IS on Saturday.

Where to even begin? The Grind Block (or TGB) was created back in September of last year prior to Week 2 of the Iron Pax Challenge. YHC knew that Week 2 was going to be particularly brutal, so as a bit of added motivation, I spray-painted “GRIND” on one side of the block to remind me to #KeepPounding throughout the workout.  The #IPC sucked really bad, but The Grind Block was by my side the whole time.  Through Week 2 (which to this day, YHC claims is the hardest thing he’s ever done), Week 3 and jumping over it a bajillion times for the “Jump Over Burpees” or whatever the heck they were called, and Week 4 where YHC toted that sucker up and down the field at Meadowlark like a banchee.  Roughly 9 months we got to share together, mostly doing ridiculously hard and dumb things that either I or another #DashPAX cooked up. YHC kept TGB in his car almost full time. We were inseparable, almost literally. That is until last Saturday at #IS.  @Zima re-hashed a brutal beatdown involving what can best be described as Pogs of Pain (TM) that called for PAX to bring a coupon.  YHC, of course, brought out The Grind Block.  As of now, it’s all a little hazy as to what ACTUALLY happened, but amidst one fateful set of exercises, YHC placed The Grind Block down on the pavement in a less than gentle fashion, at which point, TGB had had enough.  He/She (not sure, actually) succumbed to the forces of physics and gravity and met his/her demise on the concrete slab below The Intimidator.  Despite YHC’s best efforts to revive and piece TGB back together, it was no use.  He/she was gone.  And just like that, 9 months of life, literal blood, sweat, and tears, and traces of countless beatdowns together was gone.  Based on my research, which can best be described as “inconclusive” TGB lived a long life for a non-load-bearing cinder block.  And that’s what the June 6th, 2020 rendition of Impossible Situation was all about: Celebrating the life of a dear friend, gone too soon. Here’s how it went:

Warm O Rama

Abe Vigoda

Plank / Down Dog / Calf Stretch combo

SSH

Hillbillies

ASTs / Michael Phelps

Squats

Merkins

Mosey to Track for The THANG

R – Red Barchetta – From the Start line, Jailbreak 100m and perform 100 SSHs, then mosey back to Start (plank/Al Gore for 6). Jailbreak 75m and perform 75 Mtn Climbers. Jailbreak 50m, perform 50 LBCs. Jailbreak 25m, 25 Merkins. 10m, 10 Burpees. Then Mosey to Tennis Court.

I – Individual Medley – 4 exercises performed “EMOM” style (this actually ended up being every 1:30 on the 1:30, and boy did we need that extra :30). Burpees, Merkins, Bonnie Blairs, and Jump Squats. Start at 5, 5, 5, 5 and add 1 rep each round all the way up to 10.  Analysis: this sucked.

P – Plank o Rama – High Plank (1:00) ; Elbow Plank (:30) ; Plank w Right Leg High (:30) ; Plank w Left Leg High (:30) ; Plank w/ Left arm down, Right arm high (:30) ; Plank w/ Right arm down, Left arm high (:30) ; High Plank (:30) ; Elbow Plank (1:00) – a total of 5 straight minutes of Planks.  Analysis: this also sucked.

G – Gunners – American Hammers and Hand Release Burpees then Jailbreak 100m (start at 5 reps and remove 1 each round all the way down to 1)

R – Ranger Merkin (100) / Rockette Dips (200) / Rosalita (300) DORA performed on the…

I – Intimidator

N – No Mercy 1/4 mile – start at midpoint of track, mosey to Corner 1 ; Bear Crawl to Corner 2 ; Mosy to midpoint of track for 25 Merkins ; Mosey to Corner 3 ; Lunge Walk to Corner 4 ; Mosey to start for 25 squats

D – Death by MARY – Mutton Crunch , WW2s, Penguin Crunch, Cobra Crunch, Freddie Merc , Protractor.

Fin.

COT

Announcements

@$5Footlong needs #Flatline Q’s

@$5Footlong is moving next weekend (June 13th) and needs volunteers to help out

@$5Footlong, among others, are hosting a “Dialogue” on Zoom at 5:30pm on Monday (6/8) to discuss the current situation in our society and what we as leaders can DO

Shmedfest is August 28th and 29th.  Lots of details. See H.O.G., Greenspan, or Spam for more details (this will likely not be the last time this is mentioned in a COT between now and then)

@Drip needs Q’s at #IS

July 4th Convergence is in the works

Prayer Requests

Continuing protests downtown

The current social situation in our country

H.O.G. did his thing and took us out thanking Him for beautiful weather and asking for help to be Men of Action and be examples in our families and communities

NMM

Warm O Rama lasted longer than normal, which prevented us from getting to all planned exercises, but YHC believes the PAX enjoyed it

We all learned a lot about @ThePharoah’s childhood missteps and the associated discipline he received.

It’d be cool if one time @Buyout pretended to look tired.  He cruised through everything like child’s play and regularly picked up the 6 whilst running backwards #HIM

YHC found the Individual Medley portion of the workout to be pretty darn tough. Unfortunately for me, I was right next to @Greenspan who made the IM portion look like a breeze.  However, the same could not be said for his side plank. #ShakesMcGee

@$5 never seemed to be clear on whether or not we were actually supposed to be counting our reps. Maybe he just thought it was a suggestion. #ThistleCount4Life

@Lambchop was a beast, as usual, cruising through burpees and merkins completely unfazed.  Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen @Lambchop anywhere other than Hanes Park. Is he like a hologram or something? Either way, he kills it every time I see him out there.  YHC moves to bestow the title of “Mayor of Hanes Park” on @Lambchop. Is there a second?

YHC definitely “ball-parked” the distances for the Red Barchetta and I don’t think @VanGogh appreciated it very much. He is a stickler.

@Drip continues to be too nice and impossible to wear out.  It was a secondary objective of mine to get him back for the hell he unleashed on us at Mayhem earlier in the week, but all I got out of him was the usual “great beatdown man!” with a beaming smile across his face.

@H.O.G. did H.O.G. things and led the way most of the morning. At least that’s the way I remember it. I did not film the beatdown, so no tape to confirm.

It was great meeting and getting partner work in with @Cleaver. Dude is an absolute animal and beasted out so many daggum reps during DORA. YHC was definitely the weakest link in that partnership.

Was awesome seeing @Bullwinkle out also.  He’s a buddy of mine from church, and I knew he was active, but dang!  For only his second time out to F3, he put some serious work in! Great work, @Bullwinkle!

One of the last times YHC posted at #IS, I made the mistake of calling for Mutton Crunches when called upon during MARY while @Mutton was in attendance. He did not take kindly to me stealing that move that time (I don’t remember what he called when it got to his turn, but it sucked), so YHC made it a point to have him lead us in Mutton Crunches during MARY.  He seemed to accept my token of apology and presumably I am no longer indebted to him, but I’m sure he’ll get me back again soon. Hell hath no fury like a Mutton scorned.

It was an absolute honor to lead this group of #HIMs.  The group was a perfect size and there was some elite MC (not all of which YHC remembers). Thanks to all who posted.