Heading to the South Side – Flatline 12.15.2020

Heading to the South Side – Flatline 12.15.2020

QIC: Burns

Pax: Mutton, Root Canal (WD), Closer, Lamb Chop, Bevo, Honey Badger, former FNG Lois Lane, Turnover, Burns (Q/WB)

Turnover deemed the following beatdown “FNG Friendly” after being offered a sneak peek at the weinke yesterday afternoon. You be the judge:

At 0529 the core principles were recited with a disclaimer that includes Closer’s self-proclaimed three favorite words at an F3 workout – “modify as necessary.” The mission statement was then stated perfectly. A 10 second warning was given to late arriving pax (read: Bevo) to stretch anything else out, and then at 0530 on the dot we were off.  Our first mosey was to the little park on Second St where pax were instructed to do the following: 25 LBCs, run a lap, somewhere along the lap find a bench and do 25 dips. Repeato for 4 total rounds, 100 LBCs & 100 dips.

According to my weinke, we were to mosey to the new Green St. pedestrian bridge with a stop at the intersection of 2^nd & Green for 10 burpees. However, with all of the construction happening my mapping appeared to be a little bit off, so we had to take a roundabout route to the bridge and stopped in a random parking lot that very likely had broken glass all over it for our 10 burpees. No one having contracted tetanus, we continued our trek to the bridge where the next station awaited. On the north side of the bridge, 10 HR merkins. Then bear crawl across the bridge (appx 200 yards if you ask Lamb Chop) and do 10 WWIIs. Bear crawl Mosey back across the bridge and repeato for 3 total rounds – Bevo and Honey Badger were undaunted and completed a 4^th waiting for the six.  YHC promptly altered the bear crawling instructions after completing the first trip across the bridge.

On to the next station, we continued down Green St with a lot of directionally proficient pax pointing out the number of turns we could have taken to head back towards the launch point. At the intersection of Green & Cotton we stopped and did  10 5 burpees, then continued our mosey to the parking lot in front of the West Salem Public House (aka The House That Fokker Built, aka The Esteemed Home Of The 2019 Dash Pax Christmas Blowout Extravaganza). More than one pax was heard wondering aloud if we were still within the Winston Salem city limits. A ladder was called by the Q, reps descending from 12 to 1 of both jump squats and reverse lunges (DC) – big time crowd pleaser. It was not lost on the pax that I had gotten to the farthest point away from the AO of the workout and intentionally destroyed the lower half of everyone’s body. It was also not lost on the Q that we had a strict schedule to adhere to and at 0602 I had to call it quits on the ladder – YHC was on the set of 3 but a lot of chatter about the ladder dragging on for way too long and losing track of the rep counts was overheard. It was at this point that Turnover openly admitted to doing burpees until Honey Badger finishes a set and then doing 2 or 3 more and assuming he’s reached the target rep goal. (GIF)

We still had one more station to reach before the end of the allotted time, so we moseyed down Wachovia St which, if you have moseyed along Wachovia you know it is just a basin, and at the bottom of the bowl we stopped for  10 3 burpees before continuing up the other side to the intersection outside of Camino Brookstown. Everyone grabbed some wall for 25 wall sit Jack Reachers, 20 head shoulders knees toes, 15 Mike Tysons, 10 Australian mountain climbers, and 5 BTTW merkins. Those sucked and I’m pretty sure I hurt my hand at some point during the final two exercises because I could barely grip the steering wheel on the way home. It feels better now though, thank you for asking.

With about 6 minutes left on the clock we began the daunting trek back up Cherry St to the launch point, stopping on the Salem Pkwy overpass to knock out  ten two final burpees.  Bevo got in a few extra burpees waiting for the six (yours truly), and Root Canal and Mutton seemed to be IST-ing while waiting for us all to drag our sorry butts across the rest of the parking lot for Mary. We had time for Freddie Mercs and Penguin Crunches, both x20 IC before time was called. The pax all covered 1.75 miles between the stations, which led to many being seen sucking wind as we recovered.

NMM

YHC enjoyed a leisurely jaunt with Turnover and Closer prior to the beatdown – 2.1ish miles in the teeth of the wind was just what I needed to help wake up. On that note, too, it was great to see Closer at Flatline…he admitted to showing up because of the EC run option and I say we can just make it a regular practice if it’ll get you downtown more often!

Mutton, if you can believe it, wouldn’t shut up the whole time. That guy just talks and complains and talks and complains and talks some more. BIG time mumble chatter guy.*

*some or all of these comments have been fabricated, and Mutton remains among the elite company of #respects who show up, take their lumps, and barely break a sweat because they eat workouts like this for mid-afternoon snacks.

Speaking of #respects, our Flatline #respectrespect emeritus announced his presence loudly during the first pain station.  It was a nice welcome for our FNG to find out all about Dr. Toot’s Magical Caboose (TM).

Bevo only came to Flatline because I told him I was going to Flatline on Sunday evening, kind of a soft EHing on my part. It wasn’t until after that conversation that I took the Q, so I didn’t technically withhold any information from him, but he was accusatory nonetheless. He and Honey Badger, as mentioned above, show no signs of what’s scientifically referred to as “bear crawl fatigue,” which is a syndrome I discover really affects me during any Van Gogh Q.

I think Lamb Chop has been hanging out with Drip too much. He is always smiling, always in the front of the pack, will drop a snide remark or two but does so with a  smile on his face so you can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or just plain mean, and did I mention he always seems to be smiling? Studly effort this morning, my friend.

Last but certainly not least, a few thoughts about our FNG. Ethan Joyce is a sports reporter for the WS Journal. (I’ll leave that abbreviation up to interpretation…could be Winston Salem, could be Wall Street). He specifically covers App St. and Wake Forest athletics and knows Steve Forbes personally, which Lamb Chop thinks is very cool. (Some of the ambiguity might be lost now). He mentioned that he had been looking to start working out consistently (Fitness!) because it was tough to motivate in the house, and he was struggling with some isolation and loneliness during the pandemic (Fellowship!!), and Turnover had talked him into coming via a Twitter conversation (A leap of Faith???…!!!). *Insert ‘Did We Just Become Best Friends? Yup!’ GIF from Stepbrothers*  He also CRUSHED the workout, and has already soft committed to The Distillery on Thursday AM. Name suggestions were Fritter due to his connection with Turnover, Deep Throat because he is a journalist (really, Lamb Chop??), and we the settled on Lois Lane who as we all know was a prominent sports reporter at the Daily Planet before she settled down to raise a family with the universe’s most powerful humanoid alien.

CoT

Lamb Chop is taking over as Site Q at Conspiracy – good on your leadership, Lamb Chop! Razzie picked a worthy successor.

Dr. Toot promises a safe and dry beatdown tomorrow at Mayhem, but takes no responsibility for your safety or your exposure to the elements on your way to and from the AO.

GreeNest this Saturday, contact BAM (?)

Bevo alluded to a potential changing of the guard at Flatline, with more details to possibly emerge in the coming weeks.

Prayers were requested for pax & pax families in the holiday season, with specific reference to COVID-19 and tough conversations surrounding travel plans and differing comfort levels. YHC took us out.

$5, I kept the keys with me the whole workout only to lose them somewhere along Cherry St as I’m pretty sure I blacked out for a couple minutes there.