Birthdays, Confusion, and Doe Urine

Birthdays, Confusion, and Doe Urine

QIC: Turnover

Date: 2.10.21

PAX: Palin , H.O.G. , Burns (WB) , The Deuce , Snooki , Greenspan , Drip (WD) , Whamo , Cherry Pie , Razzie , Turnover (Q)

Boy, where to even start with this one.  As YHC is the Site Q for #Mayhem, I rarely (read: never) make it to #Conspiracy.  HOWEVER, since @Lambchop has taken over Site Q duties there, I’ve found myself on the “Conspiracy Q Calendar Email Chain”. A high honor, to be sure. And to understand how YHC arrived as the Q for Conspiracy on February 10th, we have to start at the beginning. The aforementioned Conspiracy Q Calendar Email Chain (referred to hereafter as “QMail Chain” or “QMail”) originally had YHC slated to Q on 3.17.  I thought, “Great, Q’ing on St Pattys Day. This’ll be a breeze. The workout practically plans itself”. Well, that feeling was short lived, because @Cherry Pie reached out to the Site Q and myself requesting a Q switch for that day. Again, I thought “No problem, I’m happy to help @CP out. Lord knows I’ve been in situations where I’ve had Q’s come up that conflict with my schedule. I’ll help out my buddy and maybe he can bail me out one time in the future”. Again, this was my thought process, and @CP led me to believe that a “schedule conflict” was the reason for this switch…….more on that later.

The day’s top story, however, was not one of a Q switch, but one of celebration of the Site Q’s Nameday.  Unfortunately, @Lambchop is still on the IR, so he was unable to be in attendance. But that wasn’t going to keep YHC and the assembled PAX from celebrating the occasion.  @Lambchop officially moved up from a “Hate-Hate” to a “Hate” yesterday, so YHC easily arrived at the theme for the beatdown. 30. Let’s get it.

0528: Running a bit behind, YHC arrives at the AO to find several Conspiracy regulars have assembled, awaiting a solid beatdown.

0529: YHC and Palin are discussing the circumstances by which I came to be the Q for the day. A schedule conflict on Cherry Pie’s end….allegedly.

0529:30: A peculiar looking Honda Pilot barrels into the parking lot. YHC and Palin, to each other: “That looks like CP’s car”.

0529:45: CP saunters up to the circle of assembled PAX.  YHC to CP: “What the hell, man?”

0530: We begin. Mission statement and 5 core principles: CHECK

10 SSH’s were plenty, but we needed to ensure our shoulders were ready to roll for the day. Arm Swirly Things. Just for Cherry Pie. As he does not come to beatdowns for Shoulder Mess, he instead performed Burpees while we did our ASTs.

We did 10 forward, 10 reverse, seal claps, overhead claps…We stopped there because A) I’m not a monster and B) we had work to do.

Abe V’s IC x 6

Mosey to the track

YHC brings the PAX up to speed on the theme of the beatdown. I mention this beatdown would be “In Memorium” for Lambchop, knowing full well what the phrase means, but unable to think of another, less death-y way to put it. The PAX got the idea, though.

Turn 1 on the Track: 30 Merkins

Turn 2: 30 Squats

Turn 3: 30 WW2’s

Turn 4: 15 Burpees

Repeato

Once done with 2 rounds (for those keeping score at home: 60 Merkins, 60 Squats, 60 WW2s, and 30 Burpees..you’re done with your #2021Challenge reps for the day, you’re welcome very much) we mosey to the Intimidator

Further description of the beatdown so the PAX understand what’s going on and then we jump back into the work:

Bottom of Intimidator: 30 Merkins

Clover and Carolina: 30 Squats

Clover and Jersey: 30 WW2s

Brookstown and Jersey: 30 HR Merkins (these are TOTALLY different than Merkins. totally different exercise)

Brookstown and Carolina: 30 Crunchy Frogs

Brookstown and West End: 30 Burpees (#crowdpleaser)

Mosey to Picnic Tables (or “Bond Money Benches” according to @Drip. Wanted to keep it PG. This is a family program.)

30 Dips on the Picnic Tables or Wall

30 Box Jumps on the Picnic Tables or Wall

30 Freddie Mercs IC

No time for round 2 up the Intimidator, Mosey back to launch

MARY

30 WW2’s OYO

Snooki: 30 American Hammers IC

YHC: High Plank, Low Plank

Done.

CoT

@HOG has WIB (already happened)

@Greenspan has IS

@Drano has F3 Mocksville at the old high school

@TheDeuce lifted up his boss’ daughter (Crystal Smith) who is fighting cancer

YHC took us out imploring Him to heal Crystal and thanking Him for our blessings.

NMM

#AsExpected with this group, the MC was flowing early and often.

Upon @Cherry Pie’s arrival, YHC was admittedly perplexed, and asked him what the deal was. He only then relayed to me that the cause for his request to switch Q dates was not due to a schedule conflict, but for a special St Pattys Day beatdown he has planned. Touche and godspeed to the suckers that actually show up for that. Pretty sure I am contractually obligated to be at Mayhem that day.

On our first lap around the track, @Greenspan and @Cherry Pie got to talking about @CP’s recent hunting trip to Arkansas.  As @Palin is an avid outdoorsman as well, he asked if either GS or CP had played the Nintendo game Duck Hunt. Palin went on to advise that, for the most assured success at the video game, that one must douse themselves in doe urine to attract the digital mallards. Air tight reasoning and logic, per the usual.

@Razzie asked if he could modify the burpees to Arm Swirly Things. The request was denied.

On our way up the Intimidator, @Palin also noted that it didnt feel hard enough, so we decided to backwards mosey instead of regular mosey. To this change, @Drip quipped (trademark request for phrase “Drip Quip” has already been filed to the US Patent office. Snooze you lose) that YHC shouldn’t be so easily swayed by the MC, especially coming from Palin…to which I replied with some broken version of a Jocko Willink leadership quote as I was sucking wind up the hill.

@Palin had already voiced his displeasure with the lack of variety in called exercises, but when we got to Brookstown and Jersey, he commented (motion to change @Palin’s name to Cotton Candy Volume Shooter) that HR Merkins were not different enough from regular merkins. YHC paid this no mind.

It was at this point also that @Palin and @CP got into some discussion about St Pattys Day and @CP’s heritage that may or may not have been of the Scotch-Irish variety. Honest to God, there were so many words spoken in such a short amount of time from the two of them, I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was actually being said.

The heritage discussion continued on the way down the hill and it reached to which country/people group should be credited with the development of certain types of spirits.

I will say that the incessant MC coming from Palin and CP was a welcome distraction from the 30 burpees we had to do at the bottom of Brookstown.

Once we got to the Picnic tables/wall, some PAX chose their Dips/Box Jump locations wisely and other chose….poorly.

One last item, that should be a rule at any/all CoT’s going forward: As it is @Root Canal’s custom during Count O Rama to align himself in a way where the number 11 (almost) always falls on him, it was motioned for, properly seconded, voted upon, and then mandated by the Q that from here on out @The Deuce should align himself to ensure that the number 2 always falls on him. *insert “IT IS DECIDED” gif*

YHC knew that Conspiracy usually attracts some of the most beastly PAX that F3WS has to offer, and this day was no different. There was a good mix of MC and guys just flat out getting after it. It was an honor to lead this group of men.

Happy Birthday and thanks for the keys, Lambchop. They’re somewhere under a bench or in a make-shift duck blind @Palin created during the workout.