Parking Garage FOMO

Parking Garage FOMO

QIC: Zima

Date: 2/2/2021

PAX: Huckleberry, Root Canal, Litterbox, Bevo, Spicoli, Hazer, Pita, Toe Tag, Hedwig, Basher, Mutton, Drip, Cheesesteak, Greenspan, Van Gogh, Burns, The H.O.G., Zima (Q)

WOW!  Just wow!  I was not expecting 17 other PAX to show up this morning.  I stand before you, a humbled Q.  Those are Bells N Whistles or Purgatory type numbers, not downtown beatdown numbers.  The ‘burbs must have been cleared out this morning as the masses headed to the big city to try this workout thing.  I had only planned for the usual 5 or 6 brave souls to post in wind-chilled weather of the mid-20s.  As 5:30 crept closer and more crazy dudes appeared, there were murmurs for the Q to start the proceedings in order to raise the internal body temperature.  Though perplexed on how to pull off this planned beatdown with so many in attendance, the Q obliged and the crowd marched onward.

WARMARAMA.  Run to the Parking Deck of Death.  (P.S. Nowhere in the bylaws does it say the PAX cannot warm up at Flatline.  The only stated rules are constant motion and high tempo, if achievable.  As long as warm ups are constant motion, they are allowable.  As a personal preference, I think warming up during a beatdown is a timewaster.  But #YouDoYou.  As with many other early morning activities, do that in the privacy of your own home.  I simply chose to dispense with the usual SSHs, ISTs, and Cherry Pie Arm Nonsense and instead jumped right into the beatdown.)

BEATDOWN.

Burpees x 39 OYO

Choose your favorite #2021Challenge exercise to perform while waiting on the Six.

Start at the first I-beam with this series of exercises: Pullups, Slappy Hump Jumps (with an I-beam slap), Downhill Ski Abs, WMDs x 1.

Run up the ramp to the top of the level.  Turn around and run back down the ramp to the bottom of the level.  Turn around and run to I-beam #2.  Repeat all exercises x 2.

Repeat for all 9 I-beams with increasing exercises.

Since it’s Groundhog Day, repeat the whole series (complete with Burpees) until time runs out.

* Slappy Hump Jumps: 5 Monkey Humpers with a Jump Squat on number 5.  Touch the I-beam on the jump (easier for some than others).  That’s one rep.

THE PATIENT HAS FLATLINED.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• @Spicoli found a source on the dark web for previously worn, utterly disgusting, odor emitting, horse piss yellow, DirtGear headbands.  See him, and only him please, for further details.
• @Greenspan is challenging PAX to try their luck tomorrow at #Conspiracy.
• @Burns is making weak threats of payback at #Mayhem tomorrow.  Bring it on!  (Side note: How long is the drive to #Conspiracy?)
• Greenest is happening again this weekend.  See @Bam or @Schneider for details.
• The blood drive is on 2/20.  When is @Splash going to commit to Burpees for Pints or at least Pints for Pints?  Come on doc, step up the recruiting game!  If you don’t need any further motivation, sign up now: https://www.redcrossblood.org/give.html/drive-results?zipSponsor=Fitness%20Fellowship%20Faith

NAKED MAN MOLESKIN:

• I tend to “blame” my beatdowns on other people so as not to actually accept any of the responsibility myself.  #LearnedLeadership.  Many of you reading this have been guilty of providing inspiration or even direct influence on locale and/or exercises.  Today was the annual celebration of the birth of our dear friend, @Huckleberry.  Blame him for what you just went through!  A 39 burpee penalty was requested/suggested (although said requester was not present), so that’s how we started.  Mr. Huck is working on his pullup form and recently(?) installed a pullup bar in his garage.  He idiotically introduced the world to Hump Jumps and he likes to ski.  Ok, so I threw in the WMDs, but everything else was his fault.
• Note: I’m getting quite good at birthday beatdowns (humble brag), if I do say so myself, as this is at least the 8th birthday-themed beatdown that I’ve led in F3.  I’m also available for weddings, anniversaries, quinceaneras, and bar mitzvahs.
• The absolute worst part about this workout was that the Q did not catch much of the mumblechatter.  With this group, there was surely some top-rate, fantastic comments and conversations, especially judging by the smiles on everyones’ faces.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t hear any of it because of the echoes in the parking deck and the conscientiousness of the PAX who socially distanced themselves throughout the open space.  Sorry, I wish I had more for you.
• The title of the backblast comes from the fact that I’ve avoided Flatline for months due to injury recovery and #DadDuty.  During my hiatus, I’ve been reading the superb backblasts and greatly missing the amazing workouts that have been taking place.  FOMO is real, my friends.  Millions of Americans suffer from it each day.  AstraZeneca may be able to help.
• It appeared as though the 2nd F was flowing strongly.  So many great friends, yet so hard to catch up with them all.  Also, #Kotters to those who have posted in a while.
• As always, workout styles differed greatly (and that’s not just because @Cheesesteak was doing @Cheesesteak-type things) throughout the morning.  Some people worked on their form, others were rehabbing injuries, some chose to run more, others practiced camaraderie, a few followed the Q’s incredibly short Weinke, some banged out as many legally allowable #2021Challenge reps as possible, a couple of guys modified to exercises more of their liking, and some learned to ski uphill.  #ModifyAsNecessary.  Whatever the reason each man posted, I sincerely hope he got what he came for.  Not everyone shows up for the same reasons, but we all do it together.  #IronSharpensIron

PRAYERS:

• For @Pita’s friend who is in the ICU and her family.
• For the family of @Mutton’s childhood friend who passed away from COVID.
• @H.O.G. took us out almost like he was trained to do that sort of thing.

I’m having a hard time breathing through this mask.  Zima Out.

@Bevo, I don’t have an F-ing clue where I dropped the keys.  If you want I’ll just Q #Flatline again next week an