The Second Battle of Hanes Park

The Second Battle of Hanes Park

QIC: Zima

Date: 11/23/22

PAX: Mutton, Schlitz, Root Canal, Drip, Lamb Chop, Palin, Zima

There was some unfinished business down at the park this morning.  For those that could afford the gas money and were willing to travel the distance, help was needed to continue the battle against the Grim Reaper.  Knowing the fight would be tough and the numbers would be small with a completely different battalion, the little general chose a similar tactical approach as the previous campaign.  With some promising HC’s from true HIMs (Spicoli and Cherry Pie) the gloom before, spirits were high.  They quickly dropped when neither of said HIMs decided to post, but sent a senile Mutton in their place.  Why, oh why, would Mutton return to the battlefield after suffering many wounds just a few short days before?  Who else followed the rallying cry to #MCGA (Make Conspiracy Great Again)?  Seemingly an insurmountable task of trying to elevate Conspiracy against the likes of the most conveniently located beatdown, Mayhem, and the only kettlebell-dedicated beatdown, Bells N Whistles, was undertaken by some certifiable fools.  The challenge enticed a drug pusher, a sock puppet, a butcher, a gas man, a creepy smiling horror flick doll, something best described as a 90s beer can, and a clearmalt last remotely popular in Japan.  These men did not fear the Reaper.  Despite the promise of joining the fight though, the burnout and Thanksgiving dessert were nowhere to be found.

The battle horn sounded and the PAX blindly ran towards the cries of terror.  Strategically chosen by Sir Drip to lure the Reaper into his (not so) well thought out trap, the battlefield location was the second intersection on Pilot View.  Following his advice may have been a poor choice by the PAX since there was overwhelming evidence that he was a double agent working for the side of evil.  The most damning piece being that silly grin he wore.  It was almost as if he wanted the men to suffer on Pilot View.

Lamb Chop continually bordered on insubordination by constantly questioning his given orders, but proved to be a valuable foot soldier in the end.  When the PAX encounter a foe that can be defeated by “gum flapping”, he will be a first round draft pick.

Speaking of those with the gift of gab, Palin regaled us with stories of his ice birth in a one igloo hospital town.  Although debatable, he might have done a few exercises during story time as well.  Even though nobody was actually listening to him, we all thoroughly enjoyed his company.

Let it be known that Root Canal doesn’t need a full 45 minutes to get in a proper beatdown.  He will show up whenever he pleases.  He will unleash his special brand of entrance music (i.e. tooting).  We will all be better for his presence.

Mutton runs head first into danger and never complains.  Let him be a shining example for the rest of us.  

Schlitz runs his mouth.  A lot.  Beware of a workout where Sour Mash and Schlitz go head-to-head.  Impressionable young children will never be the same if they are within the audible blast zone.  On another note, I am very proud of Schlitz.  Think back to what that dude’s first workout was like for him!

WARMUP.  

Who cares?

BEATDOWN.

LOCATIONS

1. Pilot View, the second intersection

EXERCISES

• Shoulder Tap Merkins x 25
• Bootstrap Squats x 25
• Mountain Climbers x 25
• Burpees x 25
• Low Dollies x 50

• Run x 4 (sprint out, jog back)

• Gas Pumps x 50
• Burpees x 15
• Peter Parkers x 15
• KTG Reverse Lunges x 15
• Side-to-Side Merkins x 15

• Run x 4 (sprint out, jog back)

FINISHED.

Q’S THOUGHTS.

• We talked about baby names.  Schlitz and Lamb Chop have some great ones picked out.
• Palin and Zima wowed the boys with their birth stories.
• The Cirque du Soleil abs were broken out again.  Ouch.

ANNOUNCEMENTS.

• Green Acres is leading a Convergence at Speas on Thanksgiving morning.
• Another convergence on Saturday.
• Beverly is running an ungodly number of miles on January 14 to prove how much better he is than the rest of us. 

PRAYERS.

• Schlitz’s upcoming 2.0.
• Lamb Chop’s upcoming 2.0.
• Old man Thistle had hip surgery.  He’s doing well.
• Healthy babies and healthy mommies.

Zima Out.