Carole Baskins’ Revenge
QIC: Zima
Date: 4/12/23
PAX: Palin, Schneider, Mutton, Root Canal, Schlitz, Chomper, Frostbite, Greenspan, Crash, FNG Mittens, Zima
BEATDOWN.
Run a square (West End, Brookstown, Carolina, Clover), stopping at each intersection for 4 exercises. Start with 5 reps at corner 1, then increase by 5 at each of the following corners. At the 4th corner, reverse direction and begin again.
Peter Parkers (knee-to-elbow), Shoulder Tap Merkins, Reverse Lunge Lt. Dans, Hand Release Burpees.
DONE.
THOUGHTS.
- The weinke was small this morning. The Q overcompensated because he overestimated his own abilities. Since I didn’t do a practice run of this workout, I guesstimated that we/I would complete 4 laps. NOPE! We didn’t even get through 2. Sheesh.
- Mutton crunched his way through the workout (see what I did there?). He’s been hanging out with Cheesesteak so much that he said, “I’ll do whatever exercise I damn well feel like doing.” Maybe those weren’t his exact words, but that’s what I heard.
- In shocking news, Palin talked a lot. A lot. Nobody really listened though. And all the while, he was insulting the FNG by calling him the wrong name for about 40 straight minutes. Maybe if he had shut up for just 5 seconds, our dear FNG could have corrected him.
- Greenspan was bored by the workout. Not only was it ridiculously easy for him, but he anticipated it and went for a run beforehand. I don’t even think that tired him out as he breezed right through everything.
- Schlitz must have had some of that liquid courage inside of him because he flew through the workout like a madman. I hear there’s lots of leftover Bud Light for some reason.
- Crash kept trying to steer the PAX in the wrong direction at every intersection, but then finally cut the crap and dominated the exercises.
- Chomper was kind of quiet. I think he was trying to see how this whole Mittens thing played out before he claimed him. There was also something about the Human Fund. I’m pretty sure it was misattributed in that particular conversation, but I can never let a good Seinfeld reference go undocumented in a backblast.
- Root Canal was positively giddy that 11 PAX posted today. It’s ironic that 11 is his favorite number because he couldn’t even remember 4 exercises. The ones he did do though had the grace of a man no older than 58.
- The trains must have been running early today to get Schneider all the way to downtown Winston from Clemmons. And he was so gracious, he didn’t utter a peep. Nah! That’s not true, but the Q tuned most of it out.
- The Q severely disappointed Frostbite by not revealing favorite conspiracy theories, but in my defense, see the bullet point about Mr. Hockey Mom blabbing continuously. I wonder if I wore out my welcome enough with Frostbite that I won’t be invited back?
- I don’t know exactly what the conversation was about, but there was a short snippet on the post-beatdown audio from Mittens about Palin, “I already don’t trust this guy.” Well that was quick.
FNG.
Our fresh-out-of-the-womb baby FNG, Walt Stanton, was brought out this morning by Chomper. More than one PAX asked Chomper why he brought Walt to this particular workout. As a retort and instead of accepting responsibility for what he had done, Chomper threw some other unnamed PAX under the bus who apparently didn’t show up at The Launchpad on Monday for what would have been Walt’s first post. Apparently, his initiation into F3 was a Sad Clown adventure out there. Anyway, this young man is about a 1/16 of the age of Root Canal and has his first 2.0 on the way (that he says he’s ready for). He’s in an online graduate business program because he wants to own his own dog training business. He has played a little baseball in his time. His name is NOT Wilt, so a Wilt Chamberlain reference would have been awkward. He’s also lived just about everywhere. We probably need to investigate that tidbit a little further. Hmm. A couple of quick ideas were thrown out there, but the dog thing stuck, so naturally we went to cats. Sadly, we were a little quick on the draw and didn’t get all the way to Tiger King (missed goldmine opportunity there), but landed nicely on Mittens. He got off easy! Welcome Mittens.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
- Mutton has Urban Assault on Friday. And this is an actual comment – perhaps stolen from the Sutton Brothers marketing material, “It IS bikini season.” Whoa boy.
- Crash has WIB. The location will be The Speakeasy.
- FNG Mittens’ birthday is April 26. Don’t worry, he’s still a baby.
PRAYERS:
- Keep the Dixon family in all of our prayers. The service will be this weekend.
- Prayers for Palin’s knee surgery on April 28 (he thinks)
- The recent murder suicide in town.
Zima Out.
