Where to Begin?

Where to Begin?

QIC: Burns

Date: 1.22.24

PAX: Rubber Ducky (site Q), Lamb Chop (merkin extraordinaire), Greenspan (EC run), Schlitz (EC run), Frostbite (EC run), Zima (heated glove wuss), Green Acres (will kick your ass), Turnover (properly layered), Inspector Gadget (third post!), Wooly Bugger (silent assassin of the day), Bruin (#grit), Burns (QIC)

Man, it was cold today. This arctic hell we’ve been trapped in is finally about to break, yet we all just had to get up and work out it in one more time before the “comforts” of 30-40 degree mornings return. 3 EC runners took it upon themselves to get the blood flowing beforehand, which was #smart. YHC fartsacked it, opting for the extra thiry minutes of #warmth provided by our newly acquired flannel bedsheets. What a game changer those things are. I got to the scene of the crime about 2.5 minutes before launch to find everyone else still in their cars because #heat is important. We gathered around the launch area, exchanged greetings (welcome to the crew, Inspector Gadget!), complained a little bit about the weather, expressed surprise that Turnover wasn’t at the purple gym, and vigorously shook our limbs to keep the #hypothermia at bay. YHC quickly recited the core principles and mission statement, opted to skip a disclaimer, and launced into warmorama: 22 each of side straddle hops, imperial walkers, and whirlies with a clap. Somebody asked why we were doing 22…it’s the date, dumbass. We finished WOR with a mosey down the carpool lane and around to the home plate area of the field, avoiding the grassy hill for fear of #drtooting ourselves. A four – nay, five – corner routine was called, adding an exercise at each corner of the field and then dropping one as we went backwards, to the tune of 22 each. Once you completed the reps, sprint to the next corner and then circle back for the six.

• Home plate: 22 merkins
• Left field: 22 merkins, 22 electric chairs
• Center field: 22 merkins, 22 electric chairs, 22 WWIIs
• Right field: 22 merkins, 22 electric chairs, 22 WWIIs, 22 lunges (dc)
• Home plate: 22 merkins, 22 electric chairs, 22 WWIIs, 22 lunges (dc), 22 diamond merkins
• Right field: 22 electric chairs, 22 WWIIs, 22 lunges (dc), 22 diamond merkins
• Center field: 22 WWIIs, 22 lunges (dc), 22 diamond merkins
• Left field: 22 lunges (dc), 22 diamond merkins
• Home plate: 22 diamond merkins.

We had some extra time so YHC called for a mosey over the wall where we partnered up. Partner A would hold people’s chair on the wall while partner B ran out about 20 yards, did 5 jump squats, and ran back to flapjack. We did five or six round of this before moseying back up to launch for Mary. Mary was 22 American hammers IC, (YHC meant to call a 22 sec plank but forgot), 22 low flutters IC, 22 sec plank, 22 LBCs IC, 22 sec plank, fin. 110 reps of each exercise on the field + 1.5 miles-ish.

If I were to have recorded on my phone all of the mumblechatter this morning, a couple of things might happen. One, the wool would be removed from the eyes of anyone who thinks Rubber Ducky, Schlitz, Frostbite, YHC, and maybe one or two others have a reverent bone in our bodies. Two, Apple would share my name with the appropriate government agencies who would have to monitor my every movement. Three, my wife would inadvertently come across the recording and have a number of questions that I might not be comfortable responding to. Four, all of you would get a good laugh at our expense. Sadly, most of what I have to report is too raunchy for the free edition of this backblast – when the tamer side of the mumblechatter is that Rubber Ducky calls his penis the Nose Tackle because it’s short, fat, and fills the gap, we’ve got to put the rest behind a paywall. You can subscribe to all the NSFW content for just $5/month on our F3WS OnlyFans page. But seriously, when Rubber Ducky and Schlitz get going, it’s like a boulder rolling down a hill…you can either get out of the way and admire it’s path from afar, or get swept up by its momentum. The general merriment of this crowd in a particularly cold and gloomy gloom was inspiring, and the laughs definitely made things at least feel warmer than the wind chill. The determination to dig deep and finish the reps and go hard on the sprints got our heart rates up and maybe even a bead of sweat or two.  Being in the middle of some suck with dudes aged 26-68 is awesome as it is, but you exponentially increase the impact of a beatdown like this by mixing in the encouragement, the love, the laughter, and yes, the nonsense. I couldn’t have dreamt up a better way to kick off my week.

Announcements/prayers were shared – YHC has Flatline tomorrow, the Duck will be Q-ing Parliament, Turnover will lead us on Wednesday at Conspiracy, and Frostbite issued the invitation to Urban Assault. Check out the calendar for all of the other seemingly less important beatdowns, seeing as they weren’t mentioned. Prayers for family members, particularly Lamb Chop’s M and those who are aging, were lifted up to the SkyQ along with much thanksgiving.

Rubber Ducky, much love to you man. Thanks for heading up a great AO. I was going to bury the keys in the field but the permafrost wouldn’t budge.