Grumpy Bears at Flatline

Grumpy Bears at Flatline

QIC: Van Gogh

Date: 2/13/2024

PAX: @Rubber Ducky, @Blue Moon, @Spicoli, @Lamb Chop, @wobegon, @Chick-Flick, @Turnover, @Burns, @Drip, @dr. toot (WD), @Frostbite (WB), @van.gogh (QIC)

YHC loves Qing flatline… wanted to get back over to the strollway, though not down to the end this time, and decided to forgo the burpees due to the ongoing February Challenge of squats. What started as a fun idea, quickly unravelled into sheer utter chaos.

Warm-o-rama

• Mission Statement / Core Principles!
• Mosey to Strollway
• Partner up!
• Q starts providing instructions but is interrupted by someone trying to sleep, so YHC whispers through them causing mass confusion and chaos for the next 40 minutes…

The Thang

• Bearcrawl down the strollway
• At each light do 10 bootstrap squats
• One partner pair at a time, run to start and back, join group and resume bearcrawling
  • Partner rotate through, running together, one pair at at a time
  • At the intersection, “start point” resets
• After 30 lights, mosey back to start

Mary:

• During run back:
  • American Hammers x 20
  • Low Flutter x 20 IC
  • Bootstrap squats x 10 IC

CoT:

• Thanks for our city, lifted up spoken prayers.

NMM:

• 3.15 miles covered, ~.5 mile of which was bear crawling
• Approximately 300 squats (give or take 10 or 20 depending on how far you got and how much you ran)
• So YHC screwed up and totally forgot to consider residents who live near the strollway… instructions should have been provided at the covered building before the strollway, not ON the strollway. #Cobains
• During instruction, a resident kindly (not sarcasm, they actually were polite) asked us to be quite, so YHC finished instructions by whispering. I thought the PAX got it, but they didn’t. They were confused by the simplicity of the beatdown (or the sheer stupidity). 
• PAX were SUPPOSED to only run, one pair at a time, in order to minimize running and maximize bear crawling. But instead, they thought they were to run, one partner at a time continuously, which would maximize running. When attempting to explain again, they asked:
  • “Why have partners then!?” Well to run WITH.
  • “How do we know when to run??” Well, just count off, or every 6 lights, or whenever the hell you need to?! 
  • “Why not just do one at a time?!” Because I want to minimize running!
• Eventually, YHC gave up, and after we got to the first intersection, YHC said “Screw it! No more running! Only bear crawl and squats!”
• During this whole ordeal, YHCs partner, Turnover, became scared of YHC’s frustration with the general PAX. Sensing the frustration growing, he felt trapped, doing much of the workout in silence, only offering passive compliments, “This is a good workout”, “You are so strong,” “The other PAX are so dumb, how do they not get it?” 
• Until we got to the road, and TO found his out. Yelling, “I’m done! We’re through! I won’t take the abuse anymore!” YHC never believed TO fully knew what he was doing and wasn’t heart broken at all by the betrayal.
• The rest of the PAX still got their money’s worth, but  frostbite, ducky, Burns, and Wobegon especially all ran WAY too much. If their traps and shoulders wasn’t sore, it was because they did it wrong. 
• Blue moon busted his hump all morning, and despite the chaos, managed to give it his all. Hopefully Ducky will bring him to a sane workout one of these days.
• Spicoli showed up late, after texting YHC asking where we’d be. YHC told him, and also warned him about the Po-po sitting on 421 waiting for speeding PAX. 
• Upon arrival, Spicoli’s first thought was “Uhhh, what?” He did whatever the confused PAX told him and got some sweat in his headband!
• Dr. Toot, always up for a challenge, seemed to have ran the least during the beatdown. He then traveled back with Blue Moon, and set a great example that YHC as the Q didn’t. #RespectRespect
• Lambchop’s bootstrap squats left much to be desired, but he made up for it with his open confession about not knowing what we were supposed to be doing and causing sheer utter chaos with his MC. He may have gotten several smart alec responses from YHC. 
• Drip put his knee brace into Bear mode and hardly broke a sweat. He politely suggested the beatdown could have been done another way, and YHC conceded: it makes sense to have partners run separately, but again, that would have gotten us 4-5 miles, not the goal, but a lot easier for the PAX to comprehend. 
• Site Q, Chick Flick, nearly called an audible and took over the beatdown, banishing YHC to the pits of Q banishment, but decided against it since YHC was kind enough to take the Flatline Shovel Flag off of his hands and use it for Alcatraz. #NowWereEven
• YHC has decided to do this again for his next Q, so PAX should come back with popcorn  to enjoy the entertainment, perhaps to throw at your least/most favorite PAX, and maybe workout some. 

Overall, it really was a fun morning, YHC had a great time yelling at PAX, the PAX enjoyed getting a rise out of YHC, and we all got in some form of a good workout. Love this group, appreciate everyone who was present, and look forward to doing it again. Chickflick, thank you for the keys, sorry to say they were thrown by YHC in a fit of rage somewhere off the strollway. Good luck finding them!

Adam