The Theory of Evolution

The Theory of Evolution

QIC: Zima

Date: 3/28/24

PAX: Spicoli, Greenspan, Root Canal, Starfish, Crash, $5 Footlong, Cruiser, Ludikris (FNG), Zima

TIME WASTERS.

Q fail for allowing these.  They should be completed prior to launch, rather than wasting everyone else’s time.  I’ll do better next time.

BEATDOWN.

Run a Figure 8 loop at the top part of the parking lot by the back entrance to the church.  There are 4 stations, conveniently marked by either a blue crosswalk or speed bump.  Perform 1 exercise at each station for 15 reps.  Always 15 reps.  When coming to the “intersection” of the 8, bear crawl instead of run.  The exercises are: Iron Mikes, Low Dolly to Heavenly Juanitas, WMDs, and Burpees.  Rinse, repeat.

DONE.

FNG

Christian Nice is from Mocksville and recently started working with Greenspan.  I can only imagine the conversations that occurred resulting in Christian posting this morning.  But hey, F3 is full of crazy stories.  He’s a financial analyst and went to Western Carolina.  Played football and basketball in high school.  Early naming possibilities were: Laettner, Moneyball, Yellen, Bernanke, and something to do with a weatherman because he does financial forecasts.  Our theme shifted as we recalled how on the first bear crawl, Christian turned on rocket mode and flew through the parking lot.  But like many recent SpaceX flights, after ignition, he blew up.  From SpaceX, we got to Spaceballs.  Then we touched on Light Speed and Plaid, finally landing on Ludicrous (speed).  Honestly, I’m not quite sure how we ended up with the convoluted spellings (there were about 13 different iterations), but somewhere along the line, a “k” was inserted and it morphed into Ludikris.  Go figure.  Also, by the look on young Christian’s face, he was absolutely thrilled with that name … not!

NAKED MAN MOLESKIN.

• Follow me here … We shouldn’t do bear crawls because – evolution?  Apparently we evolved from bears.  Who knew?  The Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History has it all wrong.  Fake news.  Mass media spreading false narratives all funded by the ape lobbyists.  That Charles Darwin is full of poop.  Even with those alternative truths that I may or may not have found on ChatGPT 3.5, I’m not quite sure how that threads into us not doing bear crawls.  One PAX tried to make this compelling argument, but like many of us, he probably needs to get his head examined.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• Samaritan Ministries.  April 22.  Need more people.  Talk to Greenspan and the signup sheet is somewhere in the Google-verse.
• Root Canal needs more WIB Qs for April.
• Greenest.  1st and 3rd Saturdays of the month.  Need Qs and crews.  See Starfish.
• Evening workouts start on Tuesday, April 9 at 7:30pm.  Miller Park.

PRAYERS:

• $5 Footlong family situation.
• Ludikris’s brother healing from a biking accident.

Zima Out.