Zima’s Twelve Pains of Christmas (ChatGPT Edition)

Zima’s Twelve Pains of Christmas (ChatGPT Edition)

QIC: Zima (Head Grinch)

Date: 12.17.24

PAX: Spicoli, Crash, Bevo, Palin, Madoff, Van Gogh, Cruiser, Lamb Chop, Wobegon, Greenspan

Per Zima’s request, take a look at what ChatGPT thinks we did this morning at Flatline.

Warm-O-Rama

Zima took the reins on a brisk, chilly morning with a holiday-inspired beatdown. After a quick disclaimer for the PAX, the theme was revealed: “The 12 Pains of Christmas” — a festive blend of strength, endurance, and cheer.

• Side Straddle Hops x 20 (IC)
• Sun Gods x 10 each direction (IC)
• Hillbillies x 15 (IC)
• Abe Vigodas x 10 (IC)
• String Rippers x 10 (IC)

The grumbling began early as Zima gave the 12 Days-inspired explanation: PAX would perform a series of escalating exercises (1, then 2-1, then 3-2-1, and so on) — with each set repeating previous “pains” before adding a new exercise to the list. Each round was a crowd-pleaser.

The Thang: The 12 Pains of Christmas

1. Burpee (Always starts with a good one)
2. Merkins (x2)
3. Lunges (x3, alpha count)
4. Big Boy Sit-Ups (x4)
5. Squats (x5)
6. Carolina Dry Docks (x6)
7. Mountain Climbers (x7, IC)
8. Plank Jacks (x8, IC)
9. Monkey Humpers (x9)
10. Shoulder Taps (x10, IC)
11. Flutter Kicks (x11, IC)
12. Burpees Again (because Zima believes in strong finishes)

It didn’t take long for groans and mumblechatter to fill the air. By the time the PAX hit the upper rounds, the cumulative fatigue set in like a holiday dinner food coma.

Highlights included:

• Spicoli arrived before Zima and before the 5:30 launch time, setting the tone for punctuality and determination.
• Bevo‘s masterclass in monkey humper form — truly a gift to all onlookers.
• Wobegon lobbied hard for the workout to end early, claiming it was against the Geneva Conventions.
• Greenspan pointed out that Christmas only comes once a year, but Zima’s punishment lives forever.

Mary With all PAX on fumes, Zima rallied the group for a short but brutal Mary:

• LBCs x 15 (IC)
• American Hammers x 20 (IC)
• Low Slow Flutters x 15 (IC)

COT The workout wrapped with a quick count-off, name-o-rama, and Zima shared a reminder that while the Christmas season is full of joy, it’s also a time to look out for those who may be struggling. Check on your family, your friends, and your brothers.

Announcements:

• Keep an eye out for details on the next Q Source meetup.
• Reminder: New Year’s Day convergence is coming — more details to follow.

Prayer Requests:

• Cruiser’s family as they travel over the holidays.
• Lamb Chop’s ongoing work situation.

Zima closed us out in prayer.

Moleskin: The “12 Pains of Christmas” delivered exactly what it promised — suffering, laughter, and a whole lot of Christmas cheer. PAX left better, stronger, and already regretting tomorrow’s soreness. Solid work by all!

SYITG!

• Zima, QIC