Naturally Gassed

Naturally Gassed

QIC: SGT Schultz

Date: September 5, 2019

PAX: Harden, Schneider, SGT Schultz

YHC arrived early at First Baptist Church in Clemmons to Q another installment of The Distillery in my drive for 50 Q’s by the end of the year.  (This morning was Q # 29, so I need to pick it up!!  If you need a Q for your AO, call me!)   It was labor intensive to set up the AO, so YHC was startled when I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 0528, with only one other PAX (Schneider, the Site Q) in attendance.  Whatever.  Whenever two or more are gathered . . . .   Harden pulled up at 0530 and we suddenly had a trio.

WARMARAMA –  A typical lineup of SSHs, Hillbillies, Seal Claps, Overhead Claps, Whirly’s with a social disease (when will he see a doctor and get rid of it?), Abe Vigodas, standing hamstring stretches, and seated groin stretch.

After completing our warmups, each PAX selected a kettlebell or a dumbbell from a large collection that I brought, which ranged from 10lbs to 35lbs  (YHC chose a 25lb dumbbell.  I chose . . . poorly.)

THE THANG –  YHC pre-positioned 5 pairs of lights, each 30 yards apart, running across the parking lot of Clemmons First Baptist Church.   Here is what it looked like from the end closest to the church building.

Here’s what transpired:

Starting at the first row of lights, each PAX performs 25 reps of a listed leg exercise.   After completing the 25 reps of the leg exercise, each PAX runs (while carrying his weight) to the second row of lights and performs 10 reps of a listed chest/arm/shoulder exercise.    Upon completion, each PAX runs (still carrying his weight) to the third row of lights and performs 10 more reps of the same chest/arm/shoulder exercise.  Upon completion, each PAX then runs to the fourth row of lights (still carrying his weight) and performs 10 more reps of the same chest/arm/shoulder exercise.   Upon completion, each PAX runs to the fifth row of lights (still carrying his weight) and then gets down and performs 25 reps of a listed abdominal exercise.  Upon completion of the 25 reps of the first listed abdominal exercise, each PAX works his way back to the first row of lights  (still carrying his weigh) in reverse order, stopping at the fourth, third and second row of lights to perform 10 reps of the same  chest/arm/shoulder exercise, resulting in the completion of a total of 60 reps of each chest/arm/shoulder exercise before moving on the next exercise in the list.

Having returned to the first light, REPEATO through the listed leg, chest/arm/shoulder and ab exercises until 0610 hours.

LEG EXERCISES:

•     Goblet Squats w/weight
•     Monkey Humpers w/o weight
•     Calf Raises w/weight
•     Alternating Forward Lunges w/weight

(The PAX went through this list twice)

CHEST/ARM/SHOULDER EXERCISES:

•   Merkins w/o weight
•    Shoulder Presses w/weight
•    Curls w/weight
•    Kettlebell swings w/weight
•    Skull Crushers w/weight
•   Upright Rows w/rock
•   Bus Drivers w/rock

AB EXERCISES (rocks optional):

• American Hammers
• Freddy Mercuries
• Heels to Heaven
•  LBCs
• Sweat Angels
• Low Flutter
• Sit-Ups

At 0610, we stopped and performed some Mary by committee:

MARY:   Alabama Prom Dates, Penguin Crunches, Mutton Crunches, Pickle Pounders

FINIS!

It must be noted that all three of the PAX in attendance had serious gaseous issues, which were exacerbated by the ab exercises.   The flatulence that was collectively produced could have powered a small town!

COT: 

• Prayers for the Hurricane victims in the Bahamas
• Prayers that our fellow North Carolinians and our neighbors to the south will make it through the Hurricane with a minimum of damage and suffering
• YHC took us out in prayer

Thanks for the Keys, Schneider!