TheGreatCornholio

TheGreatCornholio

QIC: SGT Schultz

Date: September 12, 2019

PAX: Schneider, SGT Schultz (WD), Sour Mash (WB)

Following YHC’s Pre-Blast on Twitter yesterday, Schneider suggested that we revisit the Bean Bag Beatdown theme from Parliament on Tuesday, this time going “Full Cornhole.”   YHC agreed.   Schneider brought his cornhole apparatus to the AO, which unfortunately was emblazoned with decorative images associated with a certain institution in Chapel Hill, North Carolina that somehow keeps getting away with major NCAA violations of a frequency and vigor that would make 1980s era SMU feel like they weren’t trying hard enough.

WARMARAMA:   A typical medley of SSHs, ISTs, Seal Claps, Arm Swirly Things, Whirlys with the Clap, and various stretches.

THE THANG:   We set up Schneider’s two cornhole boards, slightly staggered with one another, and surrounded them with collapsible lights for visibility.   The 3 PAX stood approximately 15 yards away and took turns tossing one bean bag each at one of the cornhole boards selected by the winner of the previous round.   The winning player had to do 15 reps of the listed exercise, performing them with a kettlebell, dumbbell or pair of dumbbells ranging from 15 lbs to 30 lbs selected by each PAX.   The runner up had to do 18 reps (with weight), while the loser had to do 21 reps (with weight).   After performing the appropriate number of reps, the runner up and the loser had to run one lap around the church parking lot while the winner did squats, monkey humbers or lunge walked until the other 2 PAX returned.  REPEATO through the listed exercises, which were as follows:

• Merkins
• Shoulder Presses
• Curls
• Skull Crushers
• Kettle Bell Swings
• Upright Rows
• Bus Drivers
• Halos
• Bent Over Rows

We went through the entire list of exercises and made it through Skull Crushers on the second go round before 0612 rolled around.   YHC only won one round, which meant that I ran around the parking lot 13 times.  According to my fitbit, I ran 2.2 miles total.   On the other hand, Schneider won almost every round with the exception of 3 or 4.  He won so much that even he got tired of winning.   Consequently, we changed the rules such that even if you won the round, if your bean bag didn’t land and stay on the cornhole board, you also had to run a lap.

MARY:   Performed by committee, encompassing LBCs, Freddy Mercuries, Low Flutters and Elbow Plank until 0615.

COT:  YHC took us out in prayer, giving praise to our Lord for His Grace and Mercy.

Thanks for the keys, Schneider!