I Did My Best … and I Did My Worst @ Purgatory 1.30.21

I Did My Best … and I Did My Worst @ Purgatory 1.30.21

QIC: Burns

Date: 1.30.21

PAX: Spamalot, Burlap, Parkay (WB), Tweety Bird, Pony Express, Bulldog, Lemming, Undertow, DDay, Green Acres (WD), Splash, Offsides, High Cotton, Lace, BAM, Boomerang, Bluto, Total Recall, Mutton

YHC is not sure how I ended up with such a large crowd this morning. It seems that every time I Q a workout, there are always loud and frequent complaints about how hard and awful and no fun and, recently, how cold it is. Never have I overheard in the mumble chatter a pax utter the words, “Wow I’m really enjoying this!” or, “Oh, this has been a delightful Q, Burns,” or, “Thanks for making my morning with your easy exercises.” Are the PAX just getting duped time and time again that I might do something less brutal than the time before? Are the PAX falling into an irreversible pattern of posting where they post without checking the calendar first? Are the PAX experiencing that same phenomenon that happens to women after childbirth where they forget the pain and think it was actually not so bad? Are the PAX just gluttons for punishment? I really don’t know the answer, but there were 20 of us total who truly – and I don’t say this lightly – truly suffered through a beatdown together this AM at Speas Global Elementary School.  True to our beloved Zima’s mantra, we didn’t wake up for easy today.

The title of this backblast is to show that I Did My Best to keep the pax warm, their blood flowing, and their bodies moving on a cold 26-degree morning. I Did My Worst in terms of bringing the pain.

WoR – SSH x15 IC, Toy Soldier x15 IC, Copperhead Squat x15IC, Arm Swirlies F x10IC, OH Clap x10IC, Arm Swirlies B x10IC, Michael Phelps x10IC. We also did a couple of moseys around the parking lot in between exercises to get the blood flowing, and YHC flawlessly recited the mission statement and the 5 core principles.

Mosey to the playground. “Which playground??” -the pax, halfway through moseying to the playground. “That one.” – me, pointing to the playground by the tennis courts that the pax were already moseying to.

YHC’s plan had been to do a modified murph DORA – 50 pullups, 100 merkins, 150 squats, and each pax had to complete all reps. But with the large number of bodies and the small amount of space, we #omaha’d to a 3-man grinder.

• Pax 1: 50 pullups at the playground
• Pax 2: 150 squats at the backstop
• Pax 3: run back to the playground to relieve pax 1
• Cycle through until all Pax do 50 pullups and 150 squats each

There was some #thistlecounting going on, I’m sure, but everyone’s blood was certainly flowing and some sweat was beginning to glisten on the brows of most pax.

Mosey to the Lido Deck for 7 layers of dip. In order to properly #sociallydistance we split up between the deck and the picnic tables below deck. YHC announced that like many great Qs before me, I drew inspiration from today’s date for this portion of the workout. If I have seen further it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants. Each layer was comprised of 30 reps of an exercise followed by 15 dips. The exercises:

• L leg step up
• R leg step up
• Irkins
• Box jumps (modify to squat jumps if needed)
• Derkins
• Squats-to-bench (squatty pottys?)
• Burpees (crowd pleaser)

Many a pax had shed layers during this part of the beatdown.

Mosey to the rock pile, instructions were to get a high-rep rock. We circled around the roundabout circle thing and each pax would take their turn moseying around the circle while everyone else was doing an exercise. We alternated between:

• Curls
• Squat Thrusters
• Skull Crushers
• Rock Swings

With 20 pax present we went through that cycle 5 times while everyone took their turn running. Some pax ran fast, some pax were average paced moseyers, and Boomerang lunge walked until pax threatened to throw their rocks at him.

Mosey back to launch for 7 minutes of Mary. Alternate between 20 WWIIs and 10 merkins until time is called.

NMM:

• Great push by my team of @BAM and @Parkay on the grinders.
• @Mutton and @Total Recall showed up about halfway through the grinders due to the low attendance of just them at IS. I anticipated lower numbers at Purgatory due to the Alcatraz launch, not IS – sorry that happened to yall and you had to endure my nonsense
• During the 7 layer dip portion of the workout, I heard @Mutton say, “this is awful.” I had never before heard him complain about anything during a beatdown. Mission accomplished.
• I wish you could have seen and heard the way @Splash was begging me not to call burpees as the last layer. He saw right through me, pled for his life, and I shot him down regardless. Total betrayal.
• @Offsides sweater was the first victim of the many outerwears that were shed during the 7 layers. Mine came shortly after.
• @BAM, @D-Day and @Spam were among the crew in the lower area with the picnic tables, but everything they said echoed up into the Qs ears because of #acoustics and they didn’t have very nice things to say at all about the exercise progression
• @Offsides shamed the size of my rock, which I succumbed to and chose a larger one, but he quickly recanted his shame after about 3 cycles.
• @High Cotton was the MVP of the Rock Circle Ring of Fire (trademark pending) – he sprinted around that circle like he was shot out of a cannon.
• @Boomerang really did take about 5 or 6 steps lunge walking while we were on a set of squat thrusters. Mutiny was nigh.
• Mary caused a little confusion (and complaining) at first, but the pax caught on quickly. They also caught on that since there was no one calling cadence, they didn’t actually need to do anything. Some very interesting interpretations and modifications of WWIIs and merkins were seen.
• @Lace pushed me through one final set of WWIIs with about 90 seconds to go – great encouragement at a time where I was ready to call it quits and send everyone home early
• Many other great comments, feats of athleticism, and conversations of note were had, but YHC did not commit them to memory.

Annoucements

• GreeNest is next Saturday, BAM is the Q. Per @BAM, you don’t actually have to talk to him to help out.
• F3WS, led by @Splash, has a blood drive on 2/20. If you don’t sign up he will drive to your house and draw the blood himself. He did sign some people up post-beatdown this morning, and @Pony Express graciously offered to do burpees for every PAX who signed up at that time. YHC did not stick around to see the results – how many slots were filled?
• F3 Mocksville is launching on 2/13, an effort led by @Drano. The AO is the old high school, go check it out.

Prayer Requests

• Tweety Bird’s mother had a fall while walking the dog this week, broke a tooth and part of her jaw. @Root Canal has patched her up, and she is on the road to recovery
• For the fairgrounds and the healthcare providers distributing the vaccines, that they remain safe and the distribution can ramp up.

Thanks for the keys, Offsides. It was an honor to lead this fine group of HIMs