Unisex Leggings Are NOT a Thing

Unisex Leggings Are NOT a Thing

QIC: Zima

Date: 4/16/21

PAX: Razzie, Burns, Lamb Chop, Pita, Cheesesteak, Snooki, Hedwig, Van Gogh, Toe Tag, Post Hole, Zima (Q)

WARMUP.  

SSH x 15 IC

BEATDOWN.

3 sets

1 minute on / 20 seconds off

2 minutes run/rest between sets

Exercises

1. Shot Block Squats
2. Knee-to-Ground Reverse Lunges
3. Box Jumps
4. Burpees
5. WMDs
6. Dips
7. Spider Merkins
8. Box Cutters
9. Crunches
10. Pickle Pounders

DONE.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

• Starfish has Supermax/Alcatraz tomorrow
• Supermax/Alcatraz t-shirts shipped yesterday
• Q School is on May 15, 7am, ROCC
• Turnberry Open CSAUP is at Tanglewood next Sunday

NAKED MAN MOLESKIN:

• Today’s workout was designed to allow each person to challenge themselves in whatever manner they should so choose.  Want to go for number of reps?  Do it.  Want to improve form?  Today’s the day.  Want to get that heart rate up?  I’m sure you can.  Want to virtually give the middle finger to the Q and modify every exercise because they’re too easy?  Ugh.
• The doctors quarantined themselves together off-stage because they didn’t want to be around the decrepit commoners.
• Pita never stopped talking.  Toe Tag made self-deprecating comments.  Hedwig giggled.  (I may have copied that sentence from every single backblast I’ve ever written with any one of those three present.)
• Snooki just plainly wanted nothing to do with the rest of us and worked out basically alone, off in the distance.  If not for the “let’s whip it out and measure” competition between him and Cheesesteak to see who could modify the exercises to make them harder, I’m not sure I would have realized he was there.
• Thank you Captain Obvious, but Van Gogh dominated the beatdown with pretty darn good form.  After some jerk suggested to him that doing lunges without the use of hands on thighs is more effective, he conveniently switched his workout location to directly behind a pole so that said jerk didn’t have a viewing angle to make any other helpful comments.  By the end, having not even broken a sweat, he admitted that there were a lot of reps.  I’m pretty sure he was headed home to do a kettlebell workout next.
• I incorrectly assumed that Cheesesteak, Burns, and Lamb Chop were only amateur horticulturalists.  Oh no, I was wrong.  They have clearly risen to master levels and were not shy about discussing composting the ENTIRE time.  However, some of their methods seem to be scientifically on par with QAnon doctrine.  In the presence of such expertise, I was too afraid to inform them about winning the 7th grade state science fair with my experiment of The Effects of Composting with Carbonaceous Versus Non-Carbonaceous Materials.  Hint: worms and dead leaves are the key.
• Post Hole was most helpful in “encouraging” and “motivating” the Q to push it all the way until the end of the timer.  Why he was watching the Q and the clock instead of doing his own exercises is another question for another time.
• Razzie uses mental telepathy to send evil thoughts in the Q’s direction.  It’s easier that way so he didn’t waste any energy yammering unkind words, but used it all to muscle through the workout.
• Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but Cheesesteak did his own thing.
• And speaking of Cheesesteak, he complained that his heart rate never got above 50 BPM, but let me remind The Philly Special that this tabata style format is “You vs You”.  Mr. Steak was in complete control of his own intensity level, but instead chose to try out for Auntie Anne’s new menu item and turn himself into a human pretzel.
• There needs to be a better definition of unisex leggings than, “When you wear them, you’re going to have sex with yourself.”  Or does there?

PRAYERS:

• For all those unsaid.

Zima Out.

@Posthole, the keys are in @Lamb Chop’s compost pile when you want them.  When you stick your hand in to retrieve them, just beware – he adds his own “biodegradable material”.