Joe’s Fitness Class Robbed The Food Lion

Joe’s Fitness Class Robbed The Food Lion

QIC: Burns

Date: 8.26.2021

PAX: Huckleberry, Workbench, Drip, Cheesesteak, Crash, Burns (QIC)

It was a strange start to the morning. As I pulled into the parking lot, police cars were everywhere. Their dogs were sniffing up and down the store facade. The alarm system was intermittently blaring, “BURGLARY! BURGLARY! BURGLARY! PLEASE LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY!” between loud and piercing siren wails. Crash was the only other one in the parking lot, and he swears it wasn’t him.

Numerous other pax started rolling in. Or so I thought. People unrecognizable to me began emerging from their cars in exercise clothing and chatting with one another, looking at Crash and I as though we were the aliens. One of these non-F3 early birds had the nerve to ask me if I was Joe. The name’s Burns, buddy.

Frankly, how dare they? How were we to know that Joe would be Qing a strange looking workout with yoga mats, dumbbells, some running sprinkled in, but that Joe wouldn’t be participating in said workout? Is that even legal? At my next Q, can I bring a whistle and a stopwatch and just observe, encourage, and occasionally berate the pax?  How were we to be prepared to dodge shmucks while climbing the Hawthorne Hills.

Then the real pax started showing up. Cheesesteak, Drip, Huck, and WB joined the commotion right as the alarm finally cut off.  We began to wander into some open space to commence the WoR and were greeted by a diverse chorus of owls, presumably responding to the sounds of the alarm. It was eerie, to say the least. One of them sounded like it may have been in Greenspan’s attic.

Then we got started.

WoR

SSH x15, IW x15, Arm swirlies front and back, OH Clap, Michael Phelps all x8

The Thang

Every time you mosey through the Food Lion parking lot, stop at a cart return and do some dips. We started with 5, adding 1 with every pass. Run up the hill one direction, back down, then up the hill in the other direction, repeato ad infinitum. Thus, a pendulum.

Up the hill in the Ardmore Christian Church parking lot, we did 10 HR merkins and 10 Captain Thors, adding 2 with each trip to this station. We ascended all the way to 20 each.

Up the hill in the Stella Brew parking lot, we did 10 Bonnie Blairs and 10 alternating shoulder taps with feet elevated on the brick wall, adding 2 reps with each trip to this station. We ascended all the way to 18 each.

Fin.

The group stayed together all morning, picking up the six and enjoying eachothers company in the gloom.

Prayers for those struggling with addiction, abuse, COVID, and other tough home-life situations. Cheesesteak is having shoulder surgery on Oct. 8.

Shmed

IPC

Joe is the burglar.

Burns Out.