D-Day’s anger issues at Purgatory

D-Day’s anger issues at Purgatory

QIC: BAM

Date: 10/23/21

PAX: Parkay (WB), Burlap, Boomerang (WD by a long shot), Superfly, High Cotton, Spamalot, The Pony Express, Undertow, Giles, Splash, Starfish, Lace, Lemming, D-Day, BAM (QIC)

It was a lovely morning, or so the Q thought, heading into Purgatory.  There was a light chill in the air, the crunch of leaves underfoot, and tunes at the ready.  As YHC pulled into the parking lot, there were a couple pax assembled, most notably D-Day.  D-Day is never late for a Purgatory, he has the steps from his house precisely measured in the metric system, but he’s also never this early.  As YHC attempted to pull into his parking spot, D-Day gave an unsettling “dance” and intense stare trying to intimidate the Q from the jump.

Unfazed, YHC got out of the car and began getting ready for the rest of the pax.  Immediately, D-Day started making threats, “If I leave early, it’s your f-ing fault!”, “I better get my money’s worth today!”, “You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny!”

He then started ranting about how he had already been at the AO for several hours getting a “real” workout in because he thought whatever YHC came up with would be a waste of time, and he only showed up to mock my failure.

This isn’t the first time our friend from the great white north has gone on rants like this, angrily hurling insults and expletives like a Canadian goose who ate too many beans, but it seemed especially pointed this morning.  Evidently Girl Scout cookie sales can affect a guys mood.

So, as the rest of the pax arrived, they did a good job trying to de-escalate what was a tense situation, by ignoring him and not mentioning anything about Canadian bacon.

The Q cranked up the tunes to drown him out and we got started!

Warm-o-rama

• SSH (getting these out of the way so Bulldog can show up)
• IW
• Copperhead squats
• Mt Climbers
• Merkins (Lace arrived at this point and attempted to run over the Q, D-Day gave a sinister laugh when he thought YHC’s end was nigh, and then continued to curse under his breath when Lace stopped short)
• Maybe overhead claps, and some other things

The Thang!

• Mosey to the tennis courts
• Doracides – partner up
  • 100 merkins
  • 200 LBCs
  • 300 Squats
  • 400 overhead claps
    • While p 1 does exercise, p 2 does a suicide, 1 jump squat at 1st line, 2 jump squats at 2nd line, 3 jump squats at 3rd line
• It was difficult for pax to hear instructions over D-Day’s constant berating of the Q and any pax within earshot
  • This music sux!
  • What the f does Dora have to do with an exercise?!?
  • Why the hell won’t Boomerang actually listen to instructions???
• At this point, D-Day had finally had a enough and stormed off.  But before he did, he wanted to make sure everybody knew he was leaving.
  • Hey I’m leaving you losers!
  • My sucky partner is gonna need somebody to work with after I leave, they won’t be as good, but that’s not my problem!
  • I knew this was a waste of time!
  • Who’s gonna pick up the slack from my lazy-ass partner after I leave?!?!
• Finished with Doracides, and just in case our angry Canadian decided to return, the pax left the courts to hide by the rock pile
• Dodo’s x 10 IC
  • easier to look it up on f3nation site than explain
  • run a lap
  • repeato x 2
• Return rocks and mosey to the Lido deck (but not the Leeeedo deck, cause that’s creepy)
• 10 each
  • Merkin
  • Dirkin
  • Irkin
  • Step ups
  • Dips
  • repeato x 2
• Lunge walk “jail break” up the hill

Mary

• The usual with some metronomes thrown in

NMM

• Bulldog never showed up at Purgatory, but he did #Fartsnack like a champ
• High Cotton continues to lie to himself and the pax that he will join us at coffeteria one day
• Splash forgot his gloves so was whimpering all morning about dimples in his hands and how he won’t be able to properly hold test tubes next week
• Ray McKigney was not master of his domain
• Accomodations were attempted for pax missing knee ligaments (you make an appointment, yet?)
• It’s almost like Boomerang just likes to ask questions about what the next exercise is, whether he hears it or not.
• Somebody deserves an award for partnering with D-Day before he left.  Nobody should have to put up with that kind of abuse.
• Giles sock game was strong today
• Parkay was tired from storming the field Wednesday night after App’s big win
• The band Yes’s comeback album is 90125, not Beverly Hills 90210
• YHC had Tom Sawyer on the playlist, and thought a faint, but clear blood curdling scream could be heard in the distance that sounded like Sgt Schultz
• Any references to D-Day’s anger issues may or may not have happened, but it makes YHC giggle to picture one of the most cheerful pax in all the land being belligerent and abusive.

Announcements

• Lemming is looking for any Q’s that may be around during the upcoming holiday season
• Boomerang will not be posting on Thanksgiving Day, but said TRQ will be at 0700 that day
• Stop by Undertow’s house right now for beer and hot dogs and watching the Wake football game. 833 Roslyn (that’s assuming he actually gets the channel)

Prayer requests

• Asian parents
• Chemo treatments wrapping up
• Grieving recent losses