Boos and Booze

Boos and Booze

QIC: Zima

Date: 10/31/17

PAX: Hedwig (WB), Fingers, Beverly, Mutton, Thistle, Cheerio, Lysol, Glazer, Lite Brite (WD), Light Brigade (or Lite Brite #2, whichever you prefer), Land Shark, The Vig, Van Gogh, Zima (QIC)

Lend me your ear, my good man, and come closer as I recount you a tale of the events that preceded the dawn hours on the most haunted of days.  Twas a chilly Hallows Eve morn, as I recall, but that slight nip in the air did not disturb the congregation of men gathered together to do their physical bidding under the glow of moon, as the sun had not yet awoken from his dreary slumber.

From the listless repose of the First Pres parking lot, and the peculiar character of its temporary dusky gloom inhabitants, who are descendants from the original Moravian settlers, this sequestered glen has long been known by the name of Flatline, and its rustic lads are called the Dash PAX throughout all the neighboring country. A drowsy, dreamy influence seems to hang over the land, and to pervade the very atmosphere. Some say that the place was bewitched by lazy fartsackers, during the early days of the settlement; others, that a rogue faction distilled Bourbon in the western outlands. Certain it is, the place still continues under the sway of some witching power, that holds a spell over the minds of the good people, causing them to walk in a continual reverie. They are given to all kinds of marvellous beliefs, are subject to trances and visions, and frequently see strange sights, and hear music and voices in the air. The whole neighborhood abounds with local tales, haunted spots, and twilight superstitions; stars shoot and meteors glare oftener across the Foothills than in any other part of the country, and the nightmare, with her whole ninefold, seems to make it the favorite scene of her gambols.

The dominant spirit, however, that haunts this enchanted region, and seems to be commander-in-chief of all the powers of the air, is the apparition of a figure of a Nantan, without hair. It is said by some to be the ghost of an F3 Dasher, whose unresolved HC for a beatdown had been carried away by a FiA group, in some nameless AO during the Convergence, and who is ever and anon seen by the country folk hurrying along in the gloom of night, as if on the wings of the wind. His haunts are not confined to the Foothills, but extend at times to the adjacent roads, and especially to the vicinity of a church (First Pres, perhaps?) at no great distance. Indeed, certain of the most authentic historians of those parts, who have been careful in collecting and collating the floating facts concerning this spectre, allege that the body of the Nantan having been buried in the churchyard, the ghost runs forth to the scene of the Sad Clown Nomad jog in nightly quest of his hair, and that the rushing speed with which he sometimes passes along the AO, like a midnight blast, is owing to his being belated, and in a hurry to get back to the churchyard before daybreak.

Such is the general purport of this legendary superstition, which has furnished materials for many a wild story in that region of shadows; and the spectre is known at all the country firesides, by the name of the Nantan of Winston-Salem.

Editor’s note: Any resemblance to a particular piece of Washington Irving’s literature is purely plagiarism coincidental.  The thoughts and views expressed in the preceding paragraph are mostly Mr. Irving’s the Q’s.

Warm-o-rama.

None.  It’s freaking cold.  Nobody’s warm.  And there’s certainly no “o-rama”.

Beatdown

Note: Waiting exercises were a combination of Coffin Planking, Al Gore, Jumping Jack-O-Lanterns, LBCs, and Running with Scissors.

Mosey to our favorite Parking Garage

• Get to high ground to escape all of the creepy monsters
  • Carioca / Apollo Creed up a few levels with 5 Merkins at each level
• Find a safe place against a wall and People’s Chair.  If you find yourself in a scary movie, never wander off alone.  Partner Up {Music: Ghostbusters}
  • Partner 1 is a spider: 5 Pullups or hang for 20 seconds (at end)
  • Partner 2 is a mummy: WWI (in middle) until Partner 1 relieves him
  • Flapjack and Partner 2 goes to the end to do Pullups

• Go even higher.  Get to the Rooftop: {Music: The Monster Mash}

• To the tune of The Monster Mash, do 1 Burpee each time Bobby Pickett sings “mash” with SSHs in between
  • should be around 26 Burpees

Let’s get on our broomsticks and ride to Corpening Plaza

• At the mini wall up top, practice our Coffin Jumps {Music: Addams Family, Werewolves of London}
  • 1 Coffin Jump – 5 Coffin Lowers (Dips)
  • …
  • 6 Coffin Jumps – 30 Coffin Lowers

• Go down to the middle and form a large circle for the Witch’s Cauldron.  {Music: Thriller, Ghost Riders in the Sky, Nightmare on My Street}
  • Witch’s Wide Merkins x 15 IC
  • Icky Inside of Shoulder Merkins x 15 IC
  • Terrifying Tempo Merkins x 10? IC
  • Creepy Crooked Merkins (staggered hands) x 8? IC
  • Horrific Hand Release Merkins x 15 OYO (Q is on life support at this point)
  • Spooky Spider Merkins x at least 5 OYO + Standard x 10 OYO

• Since this is Flatline, BTTW Al Gore while Q explains next exercise
  • 3 points with an exercise at each one.  Start at 5 reps and increase by 5 each round.  Go to the middle after each exercise and do Spidermans (Peter Parkers).  I think we stopped after 15 reps, maybe?
    • Point 1: Squats, Mosey to middle
    • Point 2: Elbow Plank Jack-O-Lanterns, Zombie Walk Mosey to middle
    • Point 3: Merkins, Werewolf Crawlers Mosey to middle

Back to the safety of the parking lot for Bloody Mary {Music: Ghostbusters}

• Burpees x ?? OYO until the Six arrives
• Batman villain = Penguin Crunches x 15 IC
• Heels to Hell x 15 IC

Done.  The sun is starting to come up.  Vampires must retreat to the dark shadows.

Setlist:

• Ray Parker Jr. – Ghostbusters
• Bobby Pickett – The Monster Mash
• The Addams Family Theme Song
• Warren Zevon – Werewolves of London
• Michael Jackson – Thriller
• Johnny Cash – (Ghost) Riders in the Sky
• DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – Nightmare on My Street

Circle of Trust:

• What is said in COT, stays in COT.

Today’s Q’s Random Musings:

• Light Brigade apparently considered the workout to be sufficient as he forgot who he was during Name-O-Rama.  He literally wants to be Lite Brite.  That’s not something you hear often.
• The Nantan must be an apparition.  He mysteriously appeared out of nowhere right before name-o-rama.  I knew he was supernatural.
• Small tokens of appreciation were given to those PAX willing to have a little fun this morning and adorn humorous Halloween costumes.  However, YHC was expecting many more brothers to join in on the fun, thus greatly overestimating the number of goodies.  Because there were so many left over, the bag containing them broke like a pumpkin pinata, spilling all over the parking lot.
• Beverly took a bottle of Zima “home for his wife”.  Something tells me that clear refreshment will be consumed before it ever gets home.
• YHC is going to make it a personal mission to capture recorded evidence at one beatdown, just one, of Mutton providing some MC.
• Van Gogh was merrily snapping along, presumably auditioning for one of DQ’s productions.
• We had to move fast this morning since Hedwig is on the run from the law.
• Q admission: YHC had a much more brutal plan for Witch’s Cauldron, but it involved more planking, a lot less people, and a bigger Q ego.  YHC quickly realized that he was utterly smoked after set #1 and had to pull a massive Omaha.  The number of Merkins per set was reduced dramatically and yet it still sucked.  Only Q what you can do, right?
• After the Circle Merk, someone (it sounded like Thistle’s big mouth) declared the warmup to be over.  Thanks.
• YHC will rename the Witch’s Cauldron to Merkin Suckfest for any future airings of the workout in syndication.
• Q fail: The Q forgot to tell the PAX to do Werewolf Crawls and Zombie Walks at Corpening Plaza.  The brain was probably depleted of oxygen (or eaten by zombies) at that point trying to keep up with the rest of the group.
• The Vig is one classy guy.  He made good on his promise from a few weeks ago to attend this special edition of Flatline.  Well done, good sir.  He even brought along his +1, Glazer.
• YHC HATES the formatting in WordPress.  Can we please post all of the BackBlasts in Slack?

Announcements:

• Hedwig is the new Site Q for Flatline.  Thanks for the leadership Beverly.
• Thistle is taking over as WIB Site Q.  Get ready for every single WIB to be at Whitaker Elementary.
• The Heart Walk is on November 11.  The Pony Express is looking for volunteers to help with parking.  Fingers’ band is playing.
• Interference has a marathon on Saturday and The Vig has one on Sunday.  The Vig is setting a modest goal of 3:15.  I think that’s for the whole 26.2 miles.
• Beer Run on 11/19.  The cranberries and cinnamon were added on Sunday and the beer is fermenting nicely.  Pumpkin spice may or may not have been included.

Prayers:

• Let’s support our marathon brothers and wish them well.
• Fingers took us out in most excellent fashion.

Hey Bev, Frankenstein stole the keys to the hearse.  I think Hedwig was riding shotgun.

Zima out.