Counting Cards at Purgatory

HomeBootcampCounting Cards at Purgatory

Counting Cards at Purgatory

QIC: SGT Schultz

Date: May 11. 2019

PAX: BAM, Bulldog, D-Day, Goofy, Lace, Largemouth, Lemming, Plunger, Pony Express, SGT Schultz (QIC), Spamalot, Splash, Starfish, Touch Me Not (WB)

14 PAX braved what was feared to be (but wasn’t) a rainy morning at Purgatory.  One of the PAX in attendance was our brother from another mothership, my good friend Largemouth (from the Washington, NC F3 PAX).   YHC arrived early to set up what hopefully would be a fun and punishing outing (if those two can co-exist).  After some prep work, I arrived in the parking lot at 0654, where I saw only Largemouth (who posted with us, as he frequently does, while in town for the weekend for his daughter’s soccer games).    Seeing no one else around, YHC began to panic that I was in the wrong place. Was Purgatory actually the name of the workout at Hanes Park such that I was at the wrong AO? Was this the weekend we were having a convergence, or was it the next?  Why wasn’t anyone coming?  Is it because no one likes me?  A host of fears — and the resulting additional ridicule that YHC would receive from the loving PAX — ran through my mind.    Just as the clock was striking 0700, I was greatly relieved to see a host of PAX arrive en masse, 14 to be exact (which, as explained below, was the perfect number!)

After some mumble chatter channeling Rain Man (watching Wopner, K-Mart sucks, I’m a good driver, etc.), we got it going.

WARMARAMA

  • SSHs
  • ISTs
  • Arm Swirly Things (forward and reverse)
  • Seal Claps
  • Whirlies with a social disease
  • Abe Vigoda
  • Standing Hamstring stretches

THE THANG:

STATION # 1:  After selecting a partner following the conclusion of Warmarama, we moseyed to the rock quarry in the rear of Speas Elementary.   Each PAX partnership selected a rock for dual use in performing 21s.  21s consist of Partner # 1 performing 1 rep of the listed exercise with the rock, then handing the rock to Partner # 2, who performs 2 reps, who hands the rock back to Partner # 1 for 3 reps, etc., etc. until Partner # 1 reaches 21 reps.   This routine was performed for the following exercises.

  • Curls
  • Skull Crushers
  • Overhead Press
  • Bent Over Rows

After concluding the Bent Over Rows 21s, we returned our rocks and moseyed to the playground across the ball field near the tennis courts.

STATION # 2:  Station # 2 consisted of a modified DORA, with each duo together performing a set number of exercises while also engaging in a particular means of locomotion to a line marked by cones approximately 50 yards away and returning by the same means.  It went like this:

  1.  50 Hanging Knee/Elbow tucks — Skipping to the line and back
  2. 100 Hand Release Ranger Merkins — Apollo Creed to the line and back
  3. 200 Monkey Humpers — Running to the line and back
  4. 300 Rosalita Crunches — Moseying backwards while dragging a kettlebell or dumbbell by a rope (weights ranged from 18 lbs to 35 lbs — YHC only had 7 such kettlebells & dumbbells total, which is why 14 PAX was the absolutely perfect number) to the line and back —  This last one was a crowd pleaser!!

STATION # 3:  Mosey  back toward to the WARMARAMA parking lot, stopping on the way at the middle parking lot where YHC passed out some decks of cards from which each PAX selected 10 cards with which to perform the Mike Tyson Squat Workout as described below:

Each PAX lined his playing cards up in a line stretching ahead of him, with each card an inch or two apart. Standing over the first card, squat down and pick up the first card off of the ground (to do so requires squatting low and holding the squat long enough to pick up the card off of the pavement).  Step ahead to the second card. Squat down again to place the first card (the one previously picked up) on top of the second card.  Now empty handed,  squat down and pick up each card in the pile, one at a time – one squat per card.   With all cards in the pile now in hand, move ahead to the third card, putting each card in your hand down on top of the third card, one squat per card.  Empty handed once more, pick up each card, one squat at a time.   Proceed with this pattern — squatting to put each card down and then squatting to pick each card back up — until you’ve moved through all ten cards in the line.  HINT:  This is a beau coup number of squats.

MARY: Upon return to the parking lot, Touch Me Not (our War Baby) led us in some WW2 situps until 0800 arrived.

FINIS!

NMM:

  • Pony Express has the Q at Purgatory on Saturday, May 25. He promises that it will be the most EPIC Pony Express Q EVER — even better than King Zog!!!  This is a cannot miss event.  His theme is “My Favorite Doctors!”
  • Convergence next Saturday, May 18, at Samaritan Inn downtown
  • Lawn Boy had the Q for the Sunday Ruck  (I went, and it was well executed!!)

COT:

  • Prayers for Lace’s mother, Betty, who is undergoing medical testing for some serious issues
  • Prayers for Starfish’s mother, who is home from the hospital
  • Prayers for our brother Bluto’s pending hip surgery this week
  • Prayers for Palin, who recently lost his mother
  • Prayers for all of the Mothers on this Mother’s Day Weekend
  • YHC took us out, praising our Lord and thanking him for the many blessings He has showered upon us.

PLAYLIST:   80’s Hair Metal Bands (If you didn’t like the playlist, blame Largemouth.  If you liked it, the credit is all mine!)

  • Dr. Feelgood  – Motley Crue
  • Turn Up the Radio – Autograph
  • Nothing But a Good Time – Poison
  • T.N.T. – AC/DC
  • Photograph – Def Leppard
  • Paradise City — Guns N’ Roses
  • She Goes Down – Motley Crue (NSFW, but one of my favorites!)
  • Used to Love Her — Guns N’s Roses (a timeless ballad)
  • Kickstart My Heart — Motley Crue

Thanks for the keys, Spamalot!  I hope I didn’t tear up your AO.   I’m an excellent driver.  Yeah.