Poor Life Decisions

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Poor Life Decisions

QIC: Zima

Date: 7/16/19

PAX: Palin, Burns, Turnover, Dr. Toot Canal (WD - act like it next time!), Honey Badger, H.O.G., Full Upright Position (WB), Seatback, La-Z-Boy, $5 Footlong, Zima (Q for the day)

First poor life decision was showing up this morning.  Yes Palin, you can still make it to Redline. In fact, please go to Redline and take H.O.G. with you while you’re at it.  Before he would start the workout, Burns demanded a HC from the Q for his WIB. I’m not quite sure what would have happened though if he didn’t get that HC.  Just another of life’s mysteries that will go unsolved.

 

Beatdown.

 

Location 1 – FIRST PRESBYTERIAN PARKING LOT

Because sometimes making a poor decision only once can lead to lifelong consequences, we did 1 IC Whirly with a Clap.

 

Next, the PAX poorly chose to let someone else control what they did.  The Q said to do 20 Burpees (mumble chatter began), so they did (mumble chatter ended).  The Q said to run to the end of the parking lot and back, then perform Mountain Climbers for the six.  That’s what the PAX did.

 

You know what’s a really bad idea?  Doing that again. Burpees, Run, Mountain Climbers.  Why would you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results?

 

Some people spend their lives experiencing all the world has to offer, sailing the seven seas, trekking to far off lands, and immersing themselves in exotic cultures.  Others may stay in one spot their entire life, planting deep roots by digging into a homestead, and making a lasting impact on a local community. And sometimes there are the ones who are stuck in between with no ambition, risk averse, fear of the unknown, just going through the motions, and therefore only making slight life improvements – in one’s career for example.  We demonstrated these tiny incremental upward adjustments through a series of planks with no rest in between – 1 minute Elbow Plank (supposedly), 1 minute Low/6” Plank (sort of), and 1 minute Regular/High Plank (the Q obviously wasn’t clear that laying on the ground was not an option).

 

Location 2 – WINSTON SQUARE PARK

The PAX seemed as though they wanted to vacate the friendly confines of the First Pres parking lot, so we headed to the always enjoyable Winston Square Park amphitheatre.  Once there, we were greeted by a couple of friendly police officers, who, oddly enough, chose to remain at a safe distance. OK, maybe not greeted per se, but definitely stared at hard.  They even ignored all of the vulgar language coming from the foul mouths of the PAX who were chasing one, poor, innocent, outnumbered, helpless, meek man. For the next life lesson, we demonstrated the poor decision of having a Monkey on Your Back.  That can really slow your down; figuratively, metaphorically, and quite literally.  As we partnered up, the Q was ironically left without a partner (yes, everyone cry for me).  The PAX got up on stage (as entertainment for the officers, of course) to “perform” 25 Monkey Humpers.  Then P1 Carried P2 around the bottom ring of the amphitheatre.  How that could possibly be confusing, I don’t know, but it was too much to ascertain for some of the mensa candidates.  Back to the stage for 25 more Monkey Humpers.  P2 Carried P1.  Finish with 25 Monkey Humpers.  Mountain Climbers for the Q/six.  It was fun to see Burns partner with his grandfather, Root Canal, while Palin and $5 Footlong decided to leave damn near 300 lbs of adipose tissue in their wake.

 

Location 3 – HOLLY AVENUE/SPRUCE STREET PARKING LOT

Fleeing the cops, the PAX escaped out the back entrance and ended up in the parking lot across from the HanesBrands Theater.  To really solidify the guys’ poor decision to show up this morning, the Q called for 5 WMD Burpees.  Sounds easy, right?  Unless your name is Huckleberry or Snooki (both not present), then the answer is a resounding NO.  Mountain Climbers for the six.  In possibly the worst “life” decision ever … ever, the PAX committed to a Suicide.  Mountain Climbers for the six.  Because the Q could no longer breathe on his own at this point, he used sign language to communicate a repeato of the Suicide.  The Q’s goal was to hurt the bystanders of this action and not so much the person doing the action, hoping to escape the pain.  Mission completely failed and definitely backfired. Clearly a poor life decision.

 

Location 4 – TOWN RUN LANE

To waste some time, we slowly meandered through downtown Winston and ended up on Town Run Lane.  Because being a burden is never a good thing, we “chose” to work all of those negative tendencies out of our system with the Beast of Burden.  6 exercises, 6 reps each, 6 times through.

  • Light Pole 1: Small Diamond (like your wife’s way too expensive ring) Merkins x 6 
  • Light Pole 2: Full Extension Crunches (never ever a good idea) x 6
  • Light Pole 3: Sumo Copperhead Jump Squats x 6 
  • Light Pole 4: HR Clap Mike Tysons (because getting punched by Mike Tyson is the definition of a poor life decision) x 6 
  • Light Pole 5: Prisoner Get Ups (uh, prison … need I say more?) x 6 (Omaha to Alternating Lunges)
  • Light Pole 6: Pickle Pounders (let’s be honest, doesn’t this always get us in trouble somehow?)  x 6 

Because H.O.G. and Honey Badger were so freaking far ahead of everyone, they had to go back a long way to get the six when they finished.  Turnover was just happily cruising along, almost laughing at the ease of the exercises, bestowing much deserved praises on the Q. Burnsy, Toots-a-lot, and Long schlong became men this very morning by stepping up to wear the weight vest during the Beast of Burden.  H.O.G. wisely “volunteered” after said part of workout was finished.  Well played kid. Seatback, Full Upright Position, and La-Z-Boy plowed through the routine, with the mocking attitude of “Is this all you got, Q?”  I don’t know where Palin was. I don’t have eyes in the back of my head.

 

Location 5 – PARKING DECK

Unfortunately, the PAX didn’t get to experience the Ball and Chain this morning due to time restrictions.  That’s OK though. Many of us would get our fill of that life decision for the other 23 hours and 15 minutes left in the day.  But because we were passing through the parking deck anyway, the Q succumbed to the whining and begrudgingly allowed the PAX to do 5 Pullups and 5 Merkins (except for H.O.G. who MODIFIED to Burpees with the vest instead … stupid life decision!).

 

Location 6 – FIRST PRESBYTERIAN PARKING LOT for Mary

With seconds to spare (perhaps we went a smidgen over time), we decided to do the Your Number on the Wall ab combination OYO:

  • WWIIs ………….……………. x 8
  • American Hammers …… x 6
  • Low Flutters  ……………… x 7
  • Straight Leg Crunches … x 5
  • Heels to Heaven ………… x 3
  • Burpees …………………….. x 0
  • Crunchy Frogs ….………… x 9

 

Out of Time.

 

Deep Thoughts from the Q:

  • Palin, Turnover, Burns, 12-inch Abe Lincoln, and a few other Chatty Cathys thought the beatdown “could have been worse”.  Sheesh, what do I need to do next time? Maybe I’ve lost my touch. These guys took everything I threw at them and spit it all right back into my face.  Alright then, you asked for it … CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Someone get me on the Q calendar.
  • H.O.G., Palin, and Burns had a little sweaty Chippendale contest at the end.  I’ll leave it up to the reader to envision the winner. Think hard. Hold those images in your mind.
  • Uhh, remember that when a PAX passes the magical age of 39, you should respond “Aye”, not “Hate”.  How did every single one of you forget that when it was the Q’s turn to identify himself?
  • Burns, Toot Canal, $5 Footlong, and H.O.G. all rose to the challenge of wearing the weight vest for portions of the workout.
  • All hail Palin and H.O.G. who not only ran The Bear on Thursday evening (race up, yes UP, Grandfather Mountain), but did WIB that morning.  #BeastMode.
  • Apparently, Dr TC wants to be everybody’s “daddy”.  That guy is so weird. First of all, if you want us to believe your age sir, you need to stop outworking the Hate Hates.

 

Announcements:

  • WIB will be at Hanes Park.  Burns on Q, but refuses to say anymore.  Does that constitute as a sufficient pre-blast?
  • Bevo has the Q at Mayhem – the Premier Wednesday Workout.
  • $5 Footlong has IS on Saturday.  He’s supposedly bringing the pain … whatever that means.
  • Greenspan needs Qs for The Outhouse.
  • F3 basketball on Thursday night at 7:30 at Clemmons First.  Get in contact with Sour Mash.
  • If you want to Q, you do not need to wait for someone to ask you.  Reach out to your friendly neighborhood Site Q to sign up. Being a former Site Q myself (and speaking for all current ones), I can almost guarantee that your request will be much appreciated and will not be turned down.
  • If you are a new Q who wants to Q, Palin is offering friendly critiques.
  • Offsides still needs a few guys to fill out the F3 Winston-Salem Junior Varsity Squad for the Tuna 200 Relay.  It’s October 25th and 26th.  Race goes from Raleigh to Atlantic Beach and is downhill.
  • Shmedfest is August 24.  Convergence the morning of.

 

Prayers:

  • Think about the decisions you make in life.
  • Prayers for Bevo’s hand injury, his family, and his Ikea assembly skills.
  • Burns new proposed class for the district, American Humanities.
  • Seatback’s two loved ones with cancer.
  • Seatback’s priest with Bell’s Palsy.
  • H.O.G. stepped up to lift us up this morning.

 

Zima out.